tip top(ple) shape

Here's what I learned at boot camp tonight:

My abs are in hiding, and they do not want to come out.
If being the fastest one in class requires me to pick up so much momentum that I run straight into a wall, I'll do it.
There are about a million and five things you can do with a rope ladder, including trip over it.
It is possible to cut your hand with your own ungroomed fingernails while doing football drills.
With a little creative thinking in the mind of an exercise nazi, paper plates become instruments of torture.
If I buy a ten dollar shirt from my instructor, I can get a free taco at Fuzzy's on Thursday night...sold!

I said, "Hey! What's going on?"

It's been 10 months since my free cable mysteriously disappeared, and I'm starting to crack.  Today, I pulled up the TV guide online and looked longingly at what I was missing.  It was torturous, much like window shopping (whoever thought that activity was legitimate enough to earn a title of its own clearly never had to participate).  I thought that being free from cable would force me to make better use of my time.  I would work out, read, play with Layla, get more involved at church...become the girl I envisioned when reading the after part of a makeover story.  But instead of toned arms, worn pages, a happy pup, and a cheerful heart, I’ve got cable envy, and I’ve got it bad.  I think it might be late onset withdrawal.  I occupy my time searching for alternative ways to watch current TV shows.  On Saturday, I spent well over an hour researching the Hulu Plus vs. Netflix debate.  And yesterday, I bought an antenna, which I balanced in the palm of one hand while standing in the middle of my living room and wiggling the rabbit ears around with my free hand.  When the picture and sound finally aligned, I was more focused than a yogi.  I wasn’t about to lose fragile reception, even if the show was terrible…and it was.  What’s happening to me?!  And more importantly, what’s happening on The Bachelor?!

What Not to Write

Every Friday, my students' warm up prompt is to write about any topic of their choice for 5 to 10 minutes.  A few of my kids like to share their responses.  Next to the 4:15 bell, that used to be my favorite part of Friday...until I heard Chris' topic of choice.

"Tonight, I'm going to watch What Not to Wear on TLC with my brother.  I think Ms. Howell should go on What Not to Wear.  She would have to throw out all her tomboy clothes and get her hair colored.  She would also have to look at herself in the 360 degree mirror to see what she really looks like."

Sadly, I don't totally disagree.  And to be completely honest, I was more enthused about Chris' ability to write four sentences that stayed on topic than I was offended by his attention to my fashion faux pas.  In fact, we've got a persuasive writing assignment coming up pretty soon, and I've got a $5,000 idea for Chris' paper.  Bring it on, Stacy and Clinton!

Challenge accepted!

If you ask me, this Special K challenge isn't much of a challenge at all.  At the rate I'm going, I will have dominated the family size box in only 3 days.  Booyah!

making lemonade

Today, the bus driver never came to pick up our kids for their afternoon jobs.  When my favorite student (I didn't say that) Roger heard the news, he threw his hands in the air and said, "Well, what can we do?!"  Then, without much hesitation, he answered his own question: "Wait!  Before the break, the bus didn't come, and we had a Christmas party.  Let's just do that!"

Much Ado About Nothing

You know those people who say they love being busy, and they will never retire?  I'm not one of them.  Today was the first day back to work after Christmas break, and one of the few things I accomplished was coming to terms with the fact that I'm really good at being lazy.  I think I was made for summer vacation and spring break and even the ocassional sick day.  It's amazing how my mind can entertain itself without any prompting from to-do lists or work related e-mails.  Unfortunately, with the rising spirit of productivity and multitasking in American culture, it seems my kind is dying out.  And the terrible thing is, if I try to do anything about it, I'll be going against my very nature of laziness.  So, it seems I am resigned to do a whole lot of nothing!

new year, same old me

If you've ever watched Bridget Jones' Diary (or if you watch it once a week like I do), then you're probably familiar with the scene where Bridget is holding a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other while babbling on to Mark Darcy about her New Year's resolutions to quit drinking, smoking, and talking total nonsense to complete strangers.  Currently, I'm sitting with a snickerdoodle in one hand and the remote control in the other (don't ask how I'm typing; just roll with it) reflecting on my morning ambitions to eat healthy and read regularly.  Oh well.  I had cabbage earlier.  That's a vegetable.  And I totally read the TV Guide before selecting a charming and slightly nauseating Hallmark movie.  At least I didn't put any restrictions on my nonsensical ramblings to people I don't even know, because it might interfere with my blogging!

So, to all my friends, family members, and complete strangers...
Happy New Year!