Although I enjoy your music, I do wish that you would sing a little less powerfully. After listening to your latest album (several times back to back), I feel like I broke up with all of your boyfriends. You now owe me one happy Sunday afternoon and a rigorous workout to counteract the Oreo shake that I had to drown your sorrows in.
Sincerely,
Your Way-Too-Old-To-Be-A-Fan Fan
P.S. If you refuse my requests, I'll write a song about you.
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