Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light, GO!

Anyone dancing yet?!  Don't lie.

Alright, so this blog was originally intended to be a place where I could post all of the oddball things that I witness (or unknowingly participate in) each day, but it seems to be veering a different direction.  I'm okay with that.  I will, however, steer it back on course the moment I have an awkward interaction with a guy who, when I ask about his profession, immediately responds with some questions of his own: "Have you ever seen Stargate?  Are you familiar with wormholes?"  I will also be sure to mention that in the middle of our riveting conversation, complete with diagrams and makeshift origami universes, he exclaims (loudly) that he has something in his eye and asks if he can use my water to flush it out.  And I for sure won't leave out the fact that as he pours water all over his face, an older man decides that his workout routine simply cannot take a detour around the bench on which Hydro-Spaceman and I are sitting, and we are asked to move so that he may use the bench as an aerobic step for 30...40...50 lunges in shorts that for sure were meant to be worn by a much smaller woman in a different decade.  Yes, if that ever happens again, it will be documented on this very page.  But for now, let's get to business!

I have, as you know, been reflecting on what it means to hope.  Honestly, I've been thinking about it for quite some time now.  A couple years ago, my friend Dave and I went to a pottery shop, and I painted a little ceramic cross that says "hope" in the center.  It is blue with multi-colored polka dots.  At least, that was the idea...turns out I'm not so steady-handed with a paintbrush.  Nevertheless, hope has been on my mind for a while.

The only problem with thinking about hope is that hope is not meant to be thought; it is meant to be lived.  I have spent much time thinking about my life and little time acting on it.  I used to think my inactivity was the product of careful discernment of the Lord's will and patience in waiting on the Lord's timing.  I'm not exactly sure where I got the idea that the Lord's timing is evidenced when things get so bad you can't stand them anymore or so expensive you can't afford them anymore.  But that is how I lived.  I didn't rock the boat.  I didn't commit to anything because I never felt sure that God was calling me to participate.  Necessity was the only catalyst for change in my life.  Until now.

A few weeks ago, I did something very out of character for me.  I registered to run a half marathon.  I'm going to blame it on the runner's high I had going after sweating through my little three-mile route that morning.  Every once in a while I wonder how I'm going to train for a half marathon while working full time and going to school, but for some reason, I'm excited about it.  I'm excited about committing to something, finally taking action.  If I'm going to be completely honest, I must also tell you that I have googled many a training program and started none of them...hey, one commitment at a time, man!  The point is, since then, I have become acutely aware of the fact that God wants us to be active participants in our own lives.  Yes, we should seek his will, but we should also question whether our waiting is ruled by wisdom or by fear.

Yesterday, while reading Velvet Elvis (loving it so far, but not finished with it, so don't take this as a recommendation just yet), I was drawn to the biblical reference to "[make] the best use of the time because the days are evil."  All afternoon, that phrase kept popping into my thoughts, peeking around behind grocery lists and "why hasn't he called?"s.  Having the summers free really drives home the truth of how much time I have, and if I had to write down the ways in which I spent that time, I would need only a scrap of paper and a handful of Webster's words.  So what do I do about it?  What am I doing now to further God's kingdom?  What am I doing to make the most of the life that I have been given?  How am I enjoying this blessing?

Because I am both cautious and stubborn, and because God created me and knows this about me, he led me right back to Ephesians 5:16 last night.  I was on the hunt for a verse about wisdom and discernment.  I was expecting a lesson in patience, but instead, I got a question.  What are you waiting for, Leslie?  You know what my will is.  I want people to know me and be in relationship with me.  I want my children to encourage and love one another.  Yes, I want you to desire me more than life, but I also want you to enjoy your life and the people I have put in it.  In fact, I have commanded it.  So go!  Quit watching everyone and join them!

If this speaks to you at all, I would encourage you to read Ephesians 5 and explore the context of the verse.  I don't want to give the illusion that we are free to live our lives according to our desires.  But I do know that for someone like me - someone who is constantly afraid of making the wrong decision even if the worst consequence is trivial - this message is liberating.  It is freeing to know that we should neither boast in tomorrow (Proverbs 27:1) nor worry about it (Matthew 6:34).  Instead, we make the most of the time that we are guaranteed.  And that time is now!