It's okay, though. After eating a delicious dinner of popcorn and cereal (feel sorry for me yet?), I took Layla for a walk and found one of these on the sidewalk.
Yeah, that's right. I'm a trillionaire. From now on, I can buy prepared meals and throw them directly into the trash just for the fun of it! But I wouldn't do that. I could never disgrace former president Tom the Turkey that way.
P.S. Can I please be present at the baptism of the person whose testimony begins with, "Well, I was lost as a goose until I found this turkey money..."
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