beautiful

Sometimes I wonder if this season of my life is worth it.  I'm exhausted and stressed all the time.  No really...ALL the time.  When I'm at work, I'm thinking about the homework I need to to; when I'm at home or out with a friend, I'm thinking about the lessons I need to plan; when I'm doing homework, I'm thinking about all of the fun things that I'm missing out on (yes, I will end this sentence with a prepositional phrase).  Also, I think about stuff like grammar.  Who does that?!

Thankfully, I have people like my cousin's wife Christy who remind me of the reasons that I'm doing what I'm doing.  People who help me to see this time as an adventure and not a pause in my life.  And I have a jar of encouraging words from some good friends who listened to me hope and wish and beg to be where I am today.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt (via Ms. Grohman)

I'm on my way to beautiful!

missed the bus

Here's a true story that makes me laugh...and think that maybe I have a new motto in life.

Last Friday morning, just as first period was starting, the phone in my classroom rang, and the following conversation took place (name changed, of course).

Me: This is Leslie.
Mystery Caller: Yeah, I'm not there today.
Me: (scanning the room and wondering who is on the other end of the line) Daniel?  Is that you?
Daniel: Yeah.
Me: You're not coming to school today?
Daniel: No, I can't.
Me: What happened?
Daniel: My bus ain't come.
Me: Your bus never came?
Daniel: Oh, it had come.  I'm just not on it.

I'd say that pretty much sums up my crazy hectic life right now.  Oh, the bus had come.  I'm just not on it.

P.S. I'd like to know what game of 20 questions our receptionist had to play with Daniel before she knew to direct him to my room.

treading water

Dear Blog Readers,

I hope the two of you are enjoying your day.  While you read this, I am most likely stressing out at work as I simultaneously interview a student regarding career choices, complete 30 pages of paperwork for a meeting that will be held in the next ten minutes, monitor students who are taking a test, gain twelve pounds as my body processes the alarming number of chocolate chip pancakes I recently ingested, and plan lessons for ten kids who should never be in the same room together (and will be within the next hour).  Please pray for me.  This semester is beyond overwhelming!

Thank you kindly,
Leslie

P.S. If you are in the neighborhood and are gifted in the art of head-scratching, I could use those magic fingers!

fallen angels

I know, I know...I'm slacking on my assignment.  But hey, this is a pretty accurate reflection of my life lately.  Me thinks me doth procrastinate too much.  I have good reason though!  It seems that lately, every time I try to do something, it ends up in a frustrating test of my patience!  A classic example is the project that I turned in today.

We had to make a genogram (similar to a family tree) of our family's culture.  It involved a ton of information that we had to represent with different symbols clustered around each individual's name.  Because I waited too late to begin my project and did not want to spend much money, I used some really old stickers from my trusty stationery set circa 1994 to represent different cultural factors within my family.  Did I use super professional, graduate school worthy elements such as ladybugs and angels and hearts?  Yep!  The only problem - besides it looking like a kindergarten project - was that the angels kept falling off the poster.  So I decided to laminate it.  Which was a good idea.  And worked well.  Or so I thought.  Apparently, one of the angels decided to jump ship right before entering the laminator, and a dog hair decided to hop on board.  So now I had permanently affixed a canine product to my already very unprofessional project, and I still had to go back and superglue a stubborn angel back in place.  Which reminds me...does anyone know how long it takes for superglue to wear off of your skin?

to work or to shop?

I have a project due in three days...and a new dress.  Stress never looked so good!

The side o' your head is ridiculous!

Today, one of my students complained that teachers want school to be all work and no fun.
My response: Do you see how I'm dressed?!

Yeah, that's a scrunchie.  And yes, those are Keds.  Unfortunately, my leg warmers are hiding out in my old drill team bag at my mom's house.  Even more unfortunate is the fact that everything else was within arm's reach in my own closet.

playing dress up

Did I go to Schlotzky's today wearing my Wacky Tacky Wednesday outfit?
Yes.  Yes I did!

Will I venture out again tomorrow in my leggings, side ponytail, and Member's Only jacket?
Yes.  Yes, I will!

Do I heart homecoming week?
Yes.  Yes I do!

Resourcefulness

It's my mom's favorite character trait.  It's the reason that the mechanics of my toilet tank hinge on the durability of a safety pin.  It's the reason that there are two nickels jammed into the window of my dad's old truck.  It's the reason that I sat on phonebooks and upturned pots when I was just a little one trying to reach the dinner table.  It's the reason that my pillows look an awful lot like my old shower curtain.

So today, when I hit up YouTube for some good running stretches and IT massages, was it any surprise that I ended up reaching for a can of flexible hold mousse to help me out?  Apparently, the host of my video, who we'll call Mr. Trainer Guy, thinks that everyone has a giant cylindrical foam cushion handy.  Not so, Mr. Trainer Guy, not so!  While he demonstrated the art of laying sideways on the cushion and carefully rolling the outside of your leg across it, I scoured my apartment for a comparable apparatus.  The closest thing I found was some Herbal Essence.  I used it.  It was painful.  But my leg hairs are oh so silky and manageable now!

There's something different about you today...

Today, one of my coworkers said to me, "There's something different about you today.  I don't know what it is, but it's good."  I responded, "Well, I'm completely exhausted."  And then he said, "Maybe that's it.  Maybe all of the energy is stripped away, and you're just yourself."

This somewhat unsettling conversation reminded me of several things: the scene from The Little Mermaid when Scuttle perches on Ariel's new legs and says, "There's something different about you; I can't put my finger on it;" the SNL skit of Mike Meyers as The Hyper Hypo; and most importantly, a comment my Pappaw once made to my mom.  He and my Memmaw had kept me for several days when I was sick (I'm sure Memmaw did more nursing back to health and Pappaw did more antagonizing), and Pappaw said, "I like her best with just a little bit of a fever."

Well, folks, if my usual dose of crazy-hyper is too much to take, and you like me better when the sandman stays away for long periods of time, then get ready to LOVE me, because this semester is succeeding in kicking my butt!

Oh, joy!

THE TWINKLY LIGHTS ARE HERE!

What has two thumbs and loves lights in trees?  This girl!
Does that not work so well in print?

highlights

Here are the scores for the day.

Diversity Book: 3
Leslie: 1
*Too much reading!

Wakeboarding: 1
Leslie: 0
*Rematch requested

Chips Ahoy Cookies: 0
Leslie: 72
*Yum!

Harbour House Restaurant Entertainment: 0
Leslie: 12
*Special requests, anyone?

Overall, a good day for Leslie, despite a slight setback against the water sports.  No worries though.  She'll be eating her Wheaties and ready to dominate the next time a sunny day at the lake calls her name!

Jake vs. Marty

Just saw an outdoor showing of Back to the Future, and I have to say, watch out Jake Ryan!  You may be able to host an unforgettable table-top birthday party, but can you play Johnny Be Good at your mom's high school dance?!  Unless you have a flux capacitor, I'm gonna go ahead and say that answer is no.  Oh, 80s crushes.  I think there is a lot to be said for maintaining a high level of attractiveness while wearing ridiculous clothes.  If you can pull off a sweater vest and rolled up, tapered jeans, you can pretty much pull off anything...including time travel!

too late on a school night

Dear Starbucks Grande Iced Coffee with Extra Soy and one Splenda,
I hear you calling.  I will be there to pick you up in the morning.  Please be dressed and ready to go!
Love,
Leslie

throwback

I'm reaching into my teaching archives for a kid story that makes me chuckle.  I feel that it is necessary for me to preface this anecdote by telling you that "Brianna" is one of the sweetest, most soft-spoken girls I have ever met.  She greets me everyday with a hug and a countdown to her birthday (as in, "Well, I guess it's only 57 more days 'til my birthday!").  That is why I was both surprised and humored - and maybe even a little bit frightened - by her unexpected wit.

Bell Ringer:
If you could prepare a meal for an enemy, what would you cook?

Brianna's Response:
I would make macaroni and cheese with hot dog pieces.

Me:
Wow, you're letting your enemy get off easy.  That sounds pretty delicious!

Brianna:
(laughs quietly)  Yeah, but he's a lactose intolerant vegetarian.

I'm thinking she had been stewing over this idea long before I inquired!

satisfied

Spent the evening reading a good book and listening to the rain bounce off of an old yellow chair that used to sit on my Memmaw and Pappaw's porch.

Praise the Lord!

the spelling test

Today, I gave a quick spelling pretest to one of my favorite students.  I mean, I gave a quick spelling pretest to one of my students to whom I am impartial...you know, because I don't have favorite students.  Anyway, we'll call this student Roger.  The pretest was your basic format for most spelling assessments.  I explained to Roger that I would say a word, then say a sentence containing the word, and then say the word again.  Here is a sample of what turned out to be a two-way conversation with some spelling involved.

Me: Fan.  I could use a fan on a hot day.  Fan
Roger: Is it hot?

Me: Pet.  I have a pet cat who likes to play.  Pet.
Roger: Meow.

Me: Dig.  He will dig a hole in the sand.  Dig.
Roger: Who?

Me: Rob.  A raccoon will rob a bird's nest for eggs.  Rob.
Roger: I like eggs!

Me: Hope.  I hope you do well on this test.  Hope.
Roger: Thank you!

Me: Wait.  You will need to wait for the letter.  Wait.
Roger: (puts pencil down) Okay.  I can wait.

Me: Gum.  I stepped in some bubble gum.  Gum.
Roger: (looking under table)  Where?

Me: Stick.  I used a stick to poke in the holes.  Stick.
Roger: (looks very confused)

Me: Shine. I...
Roger: (interrupting) Make it shine!  Make it shine!

Me: Dream.  I had a funny dream last night.  Dream.
Roger: What was it about?

Me: Fright.  She was a fright in her Halloween costume.  Fright.
Roger: Ooh Hoo Hoo!

Me: Chewing.  Don't talk until you finish chewing your food.  Chew.
Roger: I don't have any food.

Me: Crawl.  You will get dirty if you crawl under the bed.  Crawl.
Roger: Am I a baby?!

Me: Thorn.  The thorn from the rose bush stuck me.  Thorn.
Roger: I remember Miss Thorn!

Me: Shouted.  They shouted at the barking dog.  Shouted.
Roger: That's the same thing as yelling.  I'm going to write yell.

Me: Growl.  The dog will growl if you bother him.  Growl.
Roger: Grrrrrrr. (lashes hand out like a claw)

Me: Camped.  We camped down by the river last weekend.  Camped.
Roger: I camp't be a teacher yet.  I'm too young.

Me: Clapping.  The audience was clapping after the program.  Clapping.
Roger: (claps, laughs, claps, laughs, wonders why I'm looking at him strangely)

The savvy educator in me knew that I should come up with some original sentences that might not elicit so much confusion, but the comedian in me decided to go with the prewritten sentences and enjoy the show!  Enjoyed.  I hope you enjoyed today's spelling lesson as much as I did!  Enjoyed.

I can cook!

Before.

After.

Enough said!

Climb on!

When I pray, I rarely expect God to respond favorably. On a scale of 1 to 10, I would say that my level of expectancy is about a 3. I believe that God listens to my prayers. I even believe that he will respond. But I do not believe that his answer will be yes. In a way, this is a comfort because I am terrified by the notion that I have no idea what is best for me. But when I read stories of people with great faith, people who weren’t afraid to look foolish in the eyes of their friends and neighbors for the sake of claiming God’s blessing on the desires of their hearts, I can’t help but wonder if I am to blame for all of the nos that I have received.


I am in the process of reading through a chronological one-year Bible. Because I lack discipline and reading speed, I am currently trudging through Leviticus (also known as February). I have tried to read this Bible for several years in a row, and Leviticus always wins. But this year, I am determined to get through it, even if I have to take a Sharpie to the cover and make it a chronological three-year Bible! The thing is, I don’t want to just get through Leviticus; I want to find some meaning in it. As I read through the specifications for the temple, the cleansing ceremonies for the priests, and the processes for sacrifices and offerings I realized that the function of these practices is to prepare the Israelites to be with God. Before God can bless his people with his presence, they must prepare themselves.

This idea of preparing for God’s blessing reminded me of the story of Elisha and the Widow’s oil. When I first read the passage in 2 Kings, I took note of the obvious lesson of God’s provision for his people. But more recently, I paid attention to the actions of the woman and her sons.

Now the wife of one of the prophets cried to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that your servant feared the Lord, but the creditor has come to take my to children to be his slaves.” And Elisha said to her, “What shall I do for you? Tell me; what have you in the house?” And she said, “Your servant has nothing in the house except for a jar of oil.” Then he said, “Go outside, borrow vessels from all your neighbors, empty vessels and not too few. Then go in and shut the door behind yourself and your sons and pour into all these vessels. And when one is full, set it aside.” So she went from him and shut the door behind herself and her sons. And as she poured they brought the vessels to her. When the vessels were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another vessel.” And he said to her, “There is not another.” Then the oil stopped flowing. She came and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts, and you and your sons can live on the rest.”

2 Kings 4:1-7

Can you imagine going from house to house, knocking on doors and asking for empty jars? I’m not sure if scavenger hunts were popular back in the day, but I’m pretty sure that would be this woman’s only chance of holding on to some sort of sanity in the eyes of her neighbors. I imagine her request for a jar would be immediately met with a question about why she needs a jar. At this point, she’s not even sure why she’s collecting jars. Elisha doesn’t reveal the plan to her until after she has carried out all of the instructions.

But the woman does it. She takes on the role of the town lunatic, walking from house to house, interrupting people’s days to ask for jars. Why? Because she knows that Elisha is a man of God, and she knows that in order for God to provide for her, she must prepare to receive his blessing. This is a woman of great faith! She seeks God and actively prepares for his blessing.

How often do I do that? Not very. Maybe not even at all. When I pray about something, I look for repeated confirmation of God’s response before taking any action. Maybe I’ve got it backwards. Maybe the reason that I haven’t had many confirmed yeses is because I haven’t prepared myself for a yes. I know that I can’t act in a way that will convince God that I am ready for his blessing, but I can act in a way that demonstrates my belief that God will grant me the desires of my heart.

In Mark, Jesus tells his disciples, “…whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours” (Mark 11:24, ESV). Isn’t it interesting that Jesus tells us to believe that we have received it instead of telling us to believe that we will receive it? If we really believe that we have been given what we’ve asked, wouldn’t we immediately begin to live as though we have that blessing? How would our lives look different if we prepared for the Lord’s yes?

Yesterday, I went rock climbing with some friends. I’m not at all an expert at it, and I feel about as at ease in a rock gym as I do at formal events. Both are unfamiliar territories that require some uncomfortably binding contraptions. But I learned as the night went on that the key to climbing to the top is not necessarily strength or flexibility; it is the belief that you can get there. When your arms are shaking and your foot is slipping off of its hold, you have two choices. You can sit back in your harness and give up or you can act as if you have already won this battle and push yourself up the wall inch by inch until your hand reaches the ledge.

So pray. Believe. And climb on!

Would anyone like to share?

Immediately following the bell ringer, I always ask my students to share their answers.  Not only does this stimulate some interesting conversation, but it also gives me time to reprint the worksheets that I have lost.  So, in the spirit of stalling for time, I am posting some pictures from the day, which I fully intend to apply to my bell ringer response...tomorrow.

 

And now, to represent all the kids who raise their hands and say somthing completely off topic, here is a photo of brand new baby Madeline with her favorite second cousin!

bell ringer

When I was in school, I hated warm-ups.  Something about walking into a room and getting right to work just doesn't suit me; I need time to chat with friends and settle into my seat.  As an educator, I've learned that the teachers who have routine warm-ups are probably the ones who hated them as students.  In fact, the very reason that most teachers assign warm-ups is to give themselves some time to prepare for class before jumping right into the lesson.  We have to keep the kids busy while we scribble notes about the last class on various stray post-its (that we will most likely lose), locate buried worksheets (and wipe crumbs off of them), and take attendance (which we will have to correct when an absent student strolls into the room twenty minutes late...holding the Starbucks drink that we didn't have time to stop for that morning).

That being said, I have decided not to have warm-ups in my class.  Don't be too alarmed.  I can say that only because I have given warm-ups a new name.  They are called bell ringers in my class, and despite the fact that they are just warm-ups in disguise, they actually elicit some interesting conversation...and sometimes even some interesting dances, but that's another story.  So, because I am not quite prepared to put words to what I have been learning lately, and because it will be good to think about God's word before creating my own commentary, I am assigning the following bell ringer.  Set your egg timer for five minutes, and feel free to join me!

In your Writer's Notebook, respond to the prompt below.
On a scale of 1 to 10, rate the level of expectation that you have when praying, 1 being "I'm going to throw this one up in the air and see what happens" and 10 being "I am confident that God will do this."  Do you have a different level of faith depending on the topic of your prayer?  Would your life look different if you fully expected God to answer your prayers?

...lesson to follow...just as soon as I find those darned worksheets!

Fish Tales

...a collection of memories in honor of my cousin Katie, on her 28th birthday.

one
Asking you why you talked with a lisp and being legitimately jealous when you answered, "Becauthe Jethuth made me thith way."  What?!  Why didn't Jethuth make me tho cool?!

two
Staying up giggling into a pillow so your mom wouldn't hear while you and your boyfriend sent beeper texts to each other, arguing over the lines of a Pearl Jam song.  Just so you know, he was right.

three
Performing a lip sync/dance routine to Amy Grant's Galileo while spending a week at the farm...and deciding that our signature look would be one of Pappaw's old bandannas.

four
Performing a lip sync/dance routine to Amy Grant's Galileo while riding in the back of the Tahoe on our way to Lake Grapevine for an extremely awkward camping trip in which 1) you refused to go for a walk with your boyfriend, 2) my ex-boyfriend refused to talk to anyone because an Aggie basketball game was playing on the portable radio that he bought specifically for the occasion, 3) we spent the majority of our time playing "hit the stick," and 4) a carbohydrate thief stole all of our bread and muffins while we slept not so soundly in a camping spot that I'm pretty sure was a median.

five
Biting you on the stomach after you won a game of Memory at Grandma Trump's old beach house.  Sorry about that.

six
Fighting our way through mountains of Brooke's "handy-downs" at all family get-togethers.  Hello, Girbaud!

seven
Wearing matching floral dresses that your mom bought for us.  Yes, yes she did cut the rose off of the butt and sew it to a rubberband to create a lovely hair accessory for our side pony-tails.

eight
All of your lovely hair accessories.

nine
Piling into the back of your friend's parents' explorer with 14 (yes, 14!) other giddy junior high kids to go to Hudsons for dinner after the big homecoming game...and piling back into the car with only 10 other giddy kids and 4 crying ones.  Oh, junior high love!

ten
Listening to you make spitting noises the whole way home from Memories after we had gone out to eat with Diane and Mike.  Ten minutes prior, we were all elbow-deep in trash cans looking for the binator that you had accidentally thrown away.

eleven
Helping you clean your bathroom when you found your old binator...and then asking if I could have it.  Good thing your mom stepped in!

twelve
Speaking of cleaning the bathroom...you know where this is going!  Getting into a knock-down, drag-out fight over feet and a pillow while watching Pollyana on TV, and receiving the punishment of cleaning the bathroom that you shared with Matt (ew!) while you cleaned your parents' already spotless bathroom.

thirteen
Breaking the rules and eating hot dogs and Fritos in the living room, freaking out and hiding our plates under your bed when your parents came home unexpectedly, and then telling your mom that Jasper was eating pencils when she wondered aloud why he kept going under your bed and coming out with yellow flakes around his mouth.

fourteen
Working our first jobs as lemonade waitresses at your dad's bank and spilling half of our drinks in an effort to beat one another to the "cool" cars.

fifteen
Sneaking into the kitchen with Liz at the Follis beach house and hovering over our sleeping Memmaw and Pappaw to steal three spoons and a carton of cookies and cream ice cream, which we took back to our room and demolished.  And then spending the next thirty minutes looking in the dark for your clear retainer that you haphazardly threw aside when the Blue Bell was opened.

sixteen
Driving home from Ripley and Shirley's house in the back seat of your dad's convertible, looking over at you with your neck craned out over the side of the door, and laughing when you said, "Now I know why dogs do this!  When I get home, I'm gonna drag my butt across the carpet and see what that's all about!"

seventeen
Clogging the toilet in the outhouse on Christmas Eve because we kept lighting matches to see our watches (Did Santa come yet?!) and then throwing them in the bowl when the flame reached our fingertips.  It never occurred to us to use one match to find the pull chain for the light.  But it did occur to us to blame the whole thing on Cody.

eighteen
Kidnapping a very disoriented Liz in the middle of the night to celebrate her 21st birthday by hanging out in your mom's car listening to Cartman's rendition of Oh Holy Night on repeat and drinking some Red Head Red wine.

nineteen
Filling the tops and bottoms of our bikinis with sand.  Why did we do that?!

twenty
Sitting on a cement stoop outside the snack bar at Mt. Lebanon, competing to see who could keep an atomic fireball in her mouth for the longest time.  Not only did you keep it in longer, but you also projected it farther when you had had enough!

twenty-one
Climbing out the window when Matt locked us in the bathroom after having spent ample time in there himself.

twenty-two
Dancing like fools with hundreds of little Zambian kiddos and fueling up for another crazy day with some lovely beef tips and crunchy rice.

twenty-three
Jamming out on the porch at the Farm while listening to the new cassette tape that Matt got for Christmas.  Okay, maybe I don't remember this one firsthand, but I've seen the video enough times to laugh out loud when I think about it.  My favorite move is the stationery foot tap - the one where you stand with one foot planted on the porch and repeatedly tap the other foot on the lower step, throwing a head bob in every once in a while for good measure.

twenty-four
Singing Ice Ice Baby with Kaylee Sue on your shoulders.  Um, you are by far one of the coolest moms ever!

twenty-five
Chillaxin' in your parents' pool with some Blue Bell to celebrate my new job in Plano.

twenty-six
Chillaxin' in your parents' pool a year later, celebrating what the Lord has done in both of our lives over the past twelve months.  Oh yeah, and spraying Rocko and Gracie in the face for a solid hour with Ava's alligator and shark water guns!

twenty-seven
Our favorite Winter Olympic sports: tractor sledding, tractor skiing, hay bale jumping, hay ring rolling, running from cows, and the occasional running from wayward fireworks.

twenty-eight
Playing Boggle with you and being amazed by your ability to spontaneously create definitions for your nonsensical words.  I don't remember the word, but I do remember that one definition was, "those little felt pads on the bottom of telephones."  Genius!

Thank you, my cousin and my friend, for all the laughs!

If you give a girl some homework...

She will reluctantly pull out her book and thumb through the assigned pages, not to take inventory of the topics, but to feel the overwhelming weight of her task between her thumb and index finger.  She will do a rough mental calculation of the time it will take her to complete the reading and realize that she has already waited too long to be on schedule.  So she might as well eat dinner first.

She will pull out the box of pizza that she's had in her fridge for a few days, throw a slice onto the pan that has been sitting out from previous pizza warmings, pop it in the oven, and turn the dial to 350.  But she knows it will be a while before it's ready, so she will bide the time by eating fistfulls of picked-over trail mix.

As she shuffles through the pumpkin seeds to uncover bits of chocolate, her mind will, against her will, draw her back to the assignment she has to do.  She will look loathingly at the book and try desperately to muster up the desire to read it.  Then, a brilliant idea will strike!  She will realize that studying will be so much more enjoyable if she has some snazzy notebooks to record all of her newly acquired knowledge!

She will take two steps to cover the distance between the kitchen and the "office" in her tiny apartment, rifle through some piles of papers and junk drawers, and emerge with a spiral notebook, a wrinkled sheet of scrapbook paper, a couple of old magazines, a ruler, a mechanical pencil, a pair of sewing scissors, a glue stick, and some clear packing tape.  She will become giddy just thinking of all of the crafty possibilities!

She will spend well over an hour searching for just the right letters - an "e" that isn't too small, an "n" in a shade of green that will compliment the many "s"s near it - and will even consider the practical measure of keeping a running stock of cut out magazine letters on hand for future projects (until she realizes that this behavior would be appreciated and supported only by kidnappers).

As she hovers over the spiral notebook, meticulously gluing each element in its place, she will wonder why she suddenly feels warm and hears a slight gurgling sound.  She will cock her head to the side, follow the noise with her eyes, and realize about 20 minutes too late that her pizza is ready.

She will gently lay down the unfinished spiral, take two giant but light-on-her-feet leaps into the kitchen (no stomping around up here!), swipe a dish towel from the refrigerator door (and remind herself for the 7, 846, 232 time to look for potholders next time she's out), lower the oven door, and extract a crunchy brown triangle of mozzarella and dehydrated spinach.  She will be disappointed, but she will eat the entire thing...tooth-endangering bite by tooth-endangering bite.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand (always a lady), she will return to her latest endeavor in academia, gluing down the last of the colorful stripes, adding a decorative sticker for good measure, and layering tape over her masterpiece so that it can stand the test of time.  Yeah, she plans on holding onto these for a while.

As she steps back to admire her work, she will take note of the scraps of paper strewn about the floor and will proceed to crawl around on her hands and knees Cinderella style, picking bits of magazine and tape out of the carpet.  She might also find a crumb or two, which she tosses in the direction of her charming pup.  It will occur to her that she needs to vacuum, but she won't want to do it.  She will instead try to think of something else that is more important than housework, and her homework will come to mind.

She will reach for her book once again, sprawl out on the not-so-spotless floor, and force her way through ten or fifteen pages.  In agony, she will refer to her syllabus for the hundredth time to make sure that she is really supposed to read this cruel amount of information, and as her hand lifts the cover of her Avery EZ-Turn View Binder (her favorite), a brilliant thought rescues her: binder covers!

Epilogue
Satisfied and maybe even a bit smug about her humorous blog entry, she will wander into the kitchen to snap a few pictures of her handiwork.  As she rounds the corner of the kitchen island, she will notice that it is particularly warm...and that her oven is still on!  She will consider starting up a small decorative office supply business to cover the cost of her electric bills.

story of a (slightly shallow) girl

Today, I totally rocked the messy knot hairstyle, and it kind of breaks my heart to reach in there and sneak the bobby pins out.  It's one of those things that happens when the sun and moon are aligned just right and the lakes are at a certain specific fullness and every blade of grass stands just so tall.  In other words, it's going to be a while before my hair humors me again...well, humors me in that way.  It reminds me of an old diddy I used to sing in high school.  Feel free to sing along!

Your clothes never wear as well the next day1
And your hair never falls in quite the same way
But you never seem to run out of things to say...

So, being as how my hair won't fall in quite the same way, I took a picture of it.  That's right.  I set the timer on the camera and posed for a while (or maybe longer) until I was able to do justice to the "do."  I won't tell you how many shots I took.  You can judge me if you want, but if you got to have this hair for a day, you'd do the same!  And that's the story of this girl!

Footnote1: Yes, I am well aware of my attention to the second line of the song and complete disregard for the first.  But since laundry days usually end up with me saying my handful of Christian cuss words when my shower curtain falls from the weight of all of my wet hanging clothes, I don't plan to change my textile recycling habits anytime soon!

study buddies

Pages read: 4
Movies watched: 2
Calories consumed: 3,427
Boy stories told: 29
Dance moves mastered: 6

Best study night ever!

tejas means friends

I just got confirmation from a stranger, who called himself a "foreigner," that Texas is in fact the best state in the US because the people are so nice.  Way to go, my fellow Texans!

drop off lines

After going out for frozen yogurt and watching When Harry Met Sally at a friend's place, I anticipated a nice walk with Layla and then some much needed shut-eye.  Little did I know that I had not met my quotient of weird for the day.  No worries though...it came right to me in the form of a super random conversation with a very distraught guy at the pond.

Distraught Guy: Excuse me.  This is going to sound kind of off the wall.  I mean, I don't know you, and you don't know me, but I want to ask you something.

Me: (in my head) Oh my gosh, this is going to be just like that Train song where the guy tells the girl that he's seen her around and has just now found the courage to ask her out.  How sweet!

DG: My girlfriend is in the car over there crying because of her condition.  She's really embarrassed, and I've comforted her in every way I know how, but she just keeps telling me to leave her alone.  Do you know of anything I can do for her?

Me: Condition?  Embarrassed?  Please, please don't go into details!  Well, I'm not really sure of the situation, but I would say just respect whatever she has asked of you.  Maybe she just needs some time.  (walk away quickly!)

Now, I know it is crazy for me to jump to fairytale conclusions, but the thing is, these unexpected conversations happen to me A LOT.  Another of my favorites is...

Guy: Hey, you know what's really beautiful?

Me: Oh geez, a lame pick up line?  Really?  What?

Guy: (pointing over my shoulder) That mural over there.  I love the colors.

Me: Jerk!  I actually wish you had said the lame line!  Oh yeah.  Neat.

I'm not sure what it is that draws out all the false starts, but I sure wish they would follow through or stay the heck away!

Books, Bibles, and Blue Bell

If you have trouble finding me in the next four months, I'll be in here...

...until I get too stressed, and then you can find me in here.

And if that doesn't do the trick, you might just find me in here!

venteration

Here's a quick run-down of my day:

1. Begin work with a meeting, which is interrupted for...

2. A student intervention that requires administrators and a police officer, which makes me...

3. Late for class (so I literally RUN upstairs) and am immediately informed that...

4. A parent is about to stop by and drop in on my class that already has 4 pair of supervisory eyes, so I proceed to bumble through my lesson for the day until it is time to...

5. Eat lunch, when I realize that I underestimated my hunger and reach for my afternoon snack...and a cookie...and two chocolates, all of which help to perk me up until I am informed that...

6. I will be attending a full day training tomorrow and must have sub plans ready to go, so I race up to my room and begin to type furiously, but still don't manage to finish by 3:45 when I absolutely have to...

7. Go home and take the dog for the shortest walk ever before digging through the laundry (I won't tell you if it was clean or dirty) for something to wear to class and throwing - yes, throwing - the essential spiral and ballpoint pen in my backpack and...

8. Heading to class in the middle of a storm, which reaches its apex right about the time I...

9. Park my car in a foot of water and wade the half mile to class, where...

10. I listen to my professor speak at a rate of approximately one word per minute for three hours as I shiver in my chair and try not to notice that my socks are wet and will only get wetter when I...

11. Splash through puddles to get back to my car and drive the hour long trip back home, where...

12. I get an email from my apartment manager saying my downstairs neighbor can hear me stomping around and running my washing machine at 2 am.  Um, hello!  I weigh 87 pounds, keep the hours of a grandma, and the ratio of the days that I wear dirty clothes to the days that I wear clean clothes is about 8:1.

I need a Shirley Temple...and apparently some moon shoes!