Now That's the Thing To Which I'm Referring

Here are a few shout outs to my favorite members of the Kelley clan, with whom I celebrated a very merry Christmas!

To Todd, who personally requested a shout out: That accidental candy was the bomb dot com, so log on, and get it before it's gone!  Seriously, if you ever draw my name, box up some of that stuff and put a bow on it!  And if I ever draw your name, a lovely whisk-shaped head scratcher is headed your way...as long as you promise not to ever talk about it.

To Steve, who co-hosted the festivities with his lovely wife: Thank you for obliging us with several sentimental crying incidents.  I did know I was your favorite, but it's always good to hear it again.

To Vicki, the hostess with the mostest: Thank you, thank you for pointing me toward my future husband.  I'm sure Mr. Tebow will warm right up to our crazy family, so go ahead and set another place at the table for him next year!

To Zak, who learned after three grocery stops that Domaine Chandon is in fact, just Chandon: Here's to missing out on being an eyewitness to my "I dancing you?" adventures and to getting out of the car to stand in the rain and watch the live nativity scene as your older and wiser parents drove by and waved from the warmth and dryness of their vehicle.

To my cousin-ish Madison, who, on the anniversary of Jesus' birth, lied to a two-and-a-half-year-old girl about the status of her new iPhone: Way to contribute to the girls' victory over the guys in the "Guess what happened in 2001" version of Trivial Pursuit.  They couldn't have done it without us!

To Nathan, who I hardly talked to: I still think my FB post idea would have gotten more responses.  And hey, sorry I high-fived you when I thought you were leaving and you weren't.  Besties???

To Janet, who matched me bite for bite on the accidental candy: I'm super jealous that you live with the creator of this confection.  Do not take it for granted.  Also, don't take for granted a peaceful nap time!

To Brent, who called my dog Malorie: It's okay.  She doesn't answer to her real name either.  Especially when she may or may not have access to leftovers on the table.

Merry belated Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

clever critics

I was catching up on some grading tonight, and I came across a paper I couldn't resist sharing.  Let me preface this by saying that I teach Social Skills, so the topics we cover are a bit different than your typical Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.  Last week, we talked about giving and receiving constructive criticism.  After practicing a bit as a group, I gave the following assignment:

On a sheet of paper, write three scenarios in which you would give someone constructive criticism.  Then, write what you would say.  Remember to include

·      something positive

·      what you would like the person to correct

·      a suggestion for improvement

And Riley* responded with...

1.    My history class is kinda slow on somedays.
"Mr. Griggs*, I really like this class over having powerpoint notes.  I would really like it if we could catch up with the other History classes by going through the notes fast so we can get to the test over the subjects."

2.    I can't think of any more scenarios.
“Ms. Howell, I really like this class over it's easy work.  Sometimes certain worksheets like this one can be really hard to think of more examples to constructive criticism.  I would really like if we didn't had to give 3 examples because I can't think of anymore to write."

…to which I responded…

“Riley, you are very creative, but you need to complete your assignment.  I suggest you use your creativity to think of one more example.”

*Names changed to protect…well, to protect me from getting fired. J

Fast Forward

Can it please be December 17th already?  Between work, grad school, and the real reason I'm less than jolly, I could really use a break.  I would make a paper chain to count down the days, but even just 12 links looks intimidating.  I guess I'll settle for a few hours of sleep and a do-over tomorrow.

Letters to strangers, dogs, and friends

Dear Tim Tebow,
My cousin and his wife seem to think we should meet.  I've heard a lot about you from sports-crazed guys who have self-proclaimed "man crushes" on you.  Also, you have an autobiography out...in case you didn't know.  I read part of a chapter (that's as much as you can get away with when the Lifeway lady is smiling questionably at you, and you don't actually intend to buy the book), and guess what?!  We both went on mission trips to the Philippines!  Cool, huh?!  Another thing we have in common is that we both pray.  I don't do much praying on a football field, though.  In fact, I would say that a handful of my prayers have been requests for whatever plays will make the clock run down so I can get away from the stadium and back to the things I love.  Like, um, you know, things that make me sound super interesting...I'll let you decide what those things are.  Anyway, if you read this and think, "Wow, I should call that girl!" then please do.  I don't want to be too forward and give you my number right here in front of everyone, but if you leave a comment, I'll send some digits your way.
Sincerely,
The Future Mrs. 15 (Is that too much?  Wait, is that even your number?)

Dear Layla,
Thank you for being an awesome dog and selecting the best places to take care of business.  I am especially grateful for yesterday's duty, when you popped a squat approximately 2.5 inches away from shirtless, just-woke-up man who was standing on his porch enjoying a cigarette.  It was not at all awkward to avoid eye contact with said shirtless, groggy man while we both waited for you to finish your masterpiece.  Not awkward at all.
Sincerely,
Your ever-so-humble Pooper Scooper

Dear Shirtless, Just-woke-up Guy,
Thank you for playing along and pretending not to notice that my dog was decorating your porch.  I appreciate your patience and your feigned ignorance.  Maybe next time, you could walk around a bit inside your house so as not to give away the obvious truth that you were well aware of my four-legged friend's activities.  Just a thought.
Sincerely,
That girl who pretended not to see you

Dear Rude Man in the Hallway,
Thank you for yelling very loudly at the sweet girl next door that she needs to keep her dog quiet because it disturbs her neighbors.  I really appreciate that you care so much about the noise level on our floor that you are willing to yell profanities from one end of the hall to the other.  Thanks to your efforts, I'm sure our hallway will be much more peaceful.  Well done, rude man.  Well done.
Sincerely,
That eye that was staring at you through the peep hole

Dear Mr. Server Guy at Cafe Express,
Thank you for not asking me why ordering a cup of soup would make me cry.  And thank you for not staring at me like the cashier next to you.  Also, thank you for not putting a limit on how many packages of breadsticks or cups of garbanzo beans I can take home with me...because I'm pretty sure I would have exceeded even the most generous of limits by about 47.
Sincerely,
To-go order number 4723
P.S. I think you should check your register login...I'm pretty sure you're not Kathleen.

Dear Ashley and Jessica,
Thank you for allowing me to bogart 80% of our conversations, steal away significant chunks of your time, and eat the most sugar-laden contents of your pantry and fridge.  I don't think you realize how much pancakes and good friends mean to me.  I've had a rough few weeks (months???), and you have been incredibly gracious and patient with me.  So thank you, thank you from the bottom of this healing heart.
Sincerely,
Her again

Dear Jesus,
I don't talk to you much, but I know your dad pretty well.  I just want to thank you for knowing what I'm going through and for not thinking that I'm overreacting to anything.  Thank you for walking in loneliness and heartache and for declaring victory over its hold in my life.  Thank you for demonstrating obedience in suffering and for not rescuing yourself out of situations that I would have to face one day.  Thank you for a love that I do not understand and a patience that accepts me in my ignorance.  Thank you for knowing me well and loving me still.
Sincerely,
A girl who is not forgotten

let us give thanks...and pray

I was informed last week that I am in charge of coordinating our department-sponsored Thanksgiving Feast for over 100 guests.  All of the food is to be purchased and prepared by my students, so tomorrow, I'm taking twenty rowdy teens to the grocery store to pick up a few (hundred) items, which I then get to cram into our tiny shared fridge where it will remain until Monday, when, let's face it, all h-e-double-hockey-sticks breaks loose.  Keep in mind that at my family Thanksgiving dinners, I am in charge of rolls (the already baked, store-bought kind) for a reason.  Please say a prayer for me and for the health of anyone brave enough to eat the food prepared by twenty kids who have to revisit the hygiene checklist on a frequent basis, and me, Miss Three-Kitchen-Fires-And-Counting Howell.

Amen and Hallelujah

These songs are on repeat in my head...

Amen
Amen
With the dawn we all begin again
Amen
Amen
For what is done and yet to come
Amen
~ Dave Barnes

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah
~Bethany Dillon

If you want the read deal, you can check them out at the following links.  Not a huge fan of the slideshows (someone really likes horses), but the music is still divine!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8v5sZ4aaec
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-W7Md6mv74

Happy listening!

the weird kind

Today, when I was talking with one of my students, he told me that he liked only two of his teachers in high school.  He then proceeded to expound on all of the faults of the teachers who didn't make the cut.  Knowing I was playing with fire (this is the same kid who told me last year that he was going to recommend me to be on What Not to Wear so I could get rid of all of my tomboy clothes), I asked him what he would say about me after he graduated.  And without much hesitation, he replied, "Miss Howell has a lot of energy.  But it's the weird kind."

I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I'm pretty sure the patrons at Red River or Wild West or any wedding I have ever attended might say the same.

Keep talking, whoa keep talkin'!

My aunt was kind enough to accept my self-invite to her house, so off I went this morning with my laptop and my hyper dog in tow.  I intended to take advantage of some good ol' family wisdom and encouragement (and chicken salad) before hittin' the books and the keyboard.  But my lack of willpower had something else in mind.  Something like a day with my cousin Tatum.  First, she defeated me in "Just Dance."  I should have seen my fate when the Wii selected our character names and dubbed me "Poopy" and her "Sunny."  After cutting a rug (the very one that Layla had marked as her own within five minutes of bounding in the door), Tatum and I enjoyed a healthy snack of Doritos and some of Nick Jr.'s most educational programs.  Is iCarly's targeted audience 29-year-old females...because I definitely laughed out loud more than once.  Before the day was over, I had co-baked (and co-dented) some fabulous brownies, harmonized to some of Sandy and Danny's greatest hits, played Layla's favorite game of "catch-me-if-you-can-as-I-leap-over-couches," and added exactly one very poorly organized run-on sentence to my paper (and another to my blog).  Here's to you, Tatum, and the fun you bring to a Saturday afternoon!

Psalm 34:18

Today one of my students told me I looked different.  When I made the mistake of asking, "How?" he replied, "Your face looks worse."

I can't say that I disagree.  Actually, I was kind of impressed that he noticed.  That's a pretty important social skill.  Although maybe we need to work more on the "'Say it' or 'Think it'" game.  That one's definitely a "think it," much like another comment one of my other students made in the middle of class: "Man, my stomach hurts!  All this gas!"

Thank goodness my cousin and her husband welcomed me into their home tonight and provided an impromptu dance party to all "the ja-ams" of the nineties.  It's really hard to have a pity party while prancing (I think that's what you would call it) around to some Gangsta's Paradise.  A big thank you to Katie, DJ Smith, a sweet little raggedy clown scarecrow, and Coolio.

Jesus, please take it from here...

shot in the dark

I tried a little something different with my hair today.  One of my more vocal students said to me, "Ms. Howell, I really like this new look you have.  Was your power out this morning?"  I can't decide if I was more offended or impressed by her unintentional wit.  Either way, it made me giggle...and glance in the mirror a time or two.

On another note, this evening, I accidentally took Layla to "Yappy Hour" at our apartment's dog park.  She stealthily swiped an entire bag of community milkbones off the table and, after devouring them, proceeded to bark at any dog that attempted to greet or play with her, including a giant dog that was wearing a tutu as a collar...as if Twinkle Paws' self-esteem wasn't already plummeting.

Oh, Happy (Birth)Day!

A little bit of this...

And a little bit of that...

Makes me a happy girl!

Honey, I Love (Remix)

An ode to the past month, in the form of a poem that I've been staring at all day thanks to my curriculum writer's block

I love
I love a lot of things, a whole lot of things
Like
I go to the dentist and she checks my pearly whites
She fills my mouth with x-ray slides and tells me when to bite
I like the way my teeth feel when I jump up from the chair
But honey, let me tell you that I LOVE my flattened hair
          I love my mashed down, ruined hair
          and
My cousin blows the pool up in her big new green backyard
We splash and sing and carry on until we're laughing hard
We dance so free and silly underneath the water's spray
Honey, let me tell you that I LOVE a summer day
          I love a childlike summer day
          and
My mom rolls into town with her beagle dog in tow
We walk her quick around the pond and to the mall we go
For days we eat and shop and laugh and swim and drink iced tea
Honey, let me tell you that I LOVE Mom's company
          I love the laid back freedom in my mama's company
          and
I get up bright and early for a training all week long
I brush my teeth and shower through intermittent yawns
The teachers stroll on in wearing muted shades of toffee
Honey, let me tell you that I LOVE my tall iced coffee
          I love my extra soy iced coffee
          and
The coast is warm and breezy with salty, sticky air
My second cousin Ava says, "The beach is everywhere"
We spend our days in sunshine with books and floats and waves
Honey, let me tell you that I LOVE how family saves
          I love the way my family saves
          and
My fingers fly across the keys and rest between book pages
I'm confused by all the jargon and developmental stages
Papers, final projects, online quizzes, presentations
Honey, let me tell you that I DON'T love information
          I do not love too much information
But I love
I love a lot of things, a whole lot of things
And honey,
I love you, too.

P.S. Sorry blogger from whom I stole this whole Remix idea.  Please know that your "borrowed" creativity sparked a dwindling blog, a super fab ELA powerpoint, and a rockin' worksheet!  Honey, I LOVE to share ideas.  I love to share all your ideas!

Buying Time

Just checking in so I can make the midnight deadline...working on a little something that might take longer than 16 minutes :)

A Little Too Hopeful?

A Funny Too Many Things Happened on the Way to Tomorrow Next Month

I had to set a reminder in my not-smart phone to post a blog entry before midnight tonight.  Although I definitely haven't managed to post daily, I'll be darned if all the months aren't listed in the archive!  This blog is just one example of my tendency to dream bigger than I do.  If you've ever read the Shopaholic series and can totally relate to Becky Bloomwood when she sees a pair of cute shoes and immediately resolves to buy them because they will be perfect for her internship at the White House where she never knew she wanted to work until she beheld such smart and sophisticated footwear, then we are kindred spirits.  In addition to taking two classes and attending professional development trainings this summer, I recently signed on to help write curriculum for my district.  What happened to the May me who intended to sleep in, read books that don't have an index in the back, and sip giant, half-price cherry limeades by the pool for who-knows-how-long-because-she's-lost-track-of-time?  I have a feeling that in a couple of weeks when I have a paper due, a presentation to give, a project to turn in, and an English unit to fork over, little Miss Ambition will have cracked...and I'm not sure the king has enough horses and men to put me back together again!

Good Teachers

My department chair told me that at a conference she recently attended, the speaker said, "Good teachers don't take the summer off.  Good teachers go to trainings and write curriculum and take classes."  Well, guess what Mr. Not-so-motivational Speaker.  This good teacher says, "Are you KIDDING me?!"

Flashback to my first day of high school.  I'm in Freshman English, totally rocking my purple short-sleeved sweater, tapered jeans, and penny loafers (sans pennies), and my teacher instantly terrifies me when she declares that she will accept absolutely no make-up work regardless of the circumstances of one's absence.  What?!  Is she completely heartless?  Is it too late to go back to the blue and orange (ew!) halls of Bleyl Junior High, where teachers listened when you told them that you had to miss class so you could get the green and red rubberbands on your braces in time for Christmas?  I guess I'm not the only one thinking this, because the cool kids (the ones with pennies in their loafers...or maybe the ones not wearing loafers) speak up.  "That's not fair!  What if we're sick?!"  And then, as Ms. McHenry shares the explanation that she hoped someone would ask for, I feel anger well up in me - the kind of fury that emerges when you know you've just come face to face with a very difficult truth that you wish would have been kept from you for just a little bit longer.

In life, you are going to have to make choices.  Things don't always work out the way you want them to.  You're going to have to decide what is most important to you and sacrifice some things that are less important.

Although I'm not quite sure I would refuse a student the opportunity to make up an assignment because he had the flu and chose to stay home, Ms. McHenry's words still echo in my mind.  I don't remember the main characters in Tess of the D'urbervilles (if you read the terrible paper I wrote that year, you'll know that I never really did know the characters all that well), and I'd have to dust off a book or two if you asked me to diagram a sentence, but I know one thing for sure: my summers are precious to me.  They are filled with family and friends and rest and God, and if those three months of bliss mean that I have to sacrifice knowledge of the newest phonics game or foldable designed to peak interest in the correct use of commas, so be it!  Good teachers teach their students to consider what is most important and to chase after those things.  I intend to lead by example!

Well I might be poor, but summer's free for me.
Sister Hazel, Beautiful Thing

my calling in life...

...just left me a message

I was informed by my department chair this afternoon that when he recruited one of my students to help pick up materials from the library and deliver them to another teacher, the student stepped into the room full of books, looked around in wide-eyed wonderment, and proclaimed, "Wow!  I didn't know we had a library at this school!"  The bad news is I'm a terrible English teacher.  The good news is I know what we're doing on Friday.

I am his and he is mine

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

dust bunnies and days off

I'm not sure which muscle my trainer isolated yesterday, but I'm quite certain it's the same one I need for vacuuming.  I should probably let it rest...wouldn't want to overdo it.  Looks like the Easter Bunny will be in good company tomorrow!

can't stop singing this...

I wish you freedom
I wish you peace
I wish you nights of stars
That beckon you to sleep
I wish you heartache
That leaves you more of a man
I wish I could be there
But I can't

I wish you places
That sit so still
Where people never ever change
and never ever will
I wish I could hold you
And make you understand
I wish I could be there
But I can't

Be good for your mama
Cause she'll need a hand to hold
Boy, she loves you
More than you'll ever know
There are rhymes and there are reasons
And times when nothing stayed the same
But you know my love still remains

I wish you wisdom
I wish you years
I wish you armies
To conquer all your fears
I wish you courage for all that life demands
I wish I could be there
But I can't

Be good for your mama
Cause she'll need a hand to hold
Boy, she loves you
More than you'll ever know
There are rhymes and there are reasons
And times when nothing stayed the same
But you know my love still remains

I wish we were together
I wish I was home
I wish there were nights
Where I was never alone
I know I've said it
But I'll say it once again
I wish I could be there
But I can't


- Gavin's Song by Marc Broussard


Thinking of you, Becca!  Your dance made this song even more of a favorite for me!

Hello, my name is...

For the past five hours, I've been working diligently on a paper about counseling gifted adolescents.  Not wanting to risk losing my work, I decided to email a copy to myself.  I opened my email account, hit "compose mail," and sat with my fingers hovering over the keys and a blank in my mind.  As I stared at the blinking cursor in the "To" field, I literally said out loud, "What's her name?"

I think it's safe to say that none of the techniques mentioned in my paper will ever have to be used on me.

warning swines

Tonight in my Adolescent Appraisal class, our professor reviewed the components of the Wechsler Intelligence Scale, which measures a person's IQ.  We went through some sample questions, which I was kind of rocking out (mind you, the specific instrument we were looking at is designed to test individuals between the ages of 6 and 16, so that's technically not bragging).  And then we got to the Picture Completion section where you look at an illustration and have to state what is missing from the picture.  An example might be a bike with no spokes in the tires.  I was proudly displaying my Highlights Magazine skills circa 1992 when a picture emerged that made me pause, squint my eyes, and tilt my head to the side like a terrier who doesn't care about your day and just wants you to give him the treat already (yeah, I made myself a boy dog in that analogy).

**NOTE: If you are a child or adolescent between the ages of 6 and 16, and you have not yet taken an IQ test but plan to do so in the near or distant future, the information I am about to share with you will invalidate your score; however, it could also keep you from embarrassing yourself.  You can determine which is more important - your integrity or your pride - and decide to keep reading or go back to your preferred spacebook site.**

Decided to keep reading, huh?  Good choice.  Now you know that when the test administrator presents you with a picture of a perfectly normal-looking pig and asks you what's missing, the correct answer is not "udders."  And when he laughs, it's not because you said "utters" instead of "teets," so don't bother asking if that's why your response was technically wrong.  Instead, take your administrator's laughing-out-loud snorts as a cue and check out the nostrilless snout on Babe.  Then, be thankful that IQ tests are administered independently and not in front of your graduate school peers who may forever think of you as the girl who said "udders" in class.

the thinks I think

Will the answer to the question, "Is it opposite day?" always be no?

Why is "undisclosed" a word?  Wouldn't it just be "closed?"

Procrastination + Optimism = Danger

Keep your eyes crossed that I get two papers written and taxes done by Friday!  Otherwise, Dr. Kern and the IRS will be hopping mad!

Saturday, in the park...

A good friend, some green grass, a whole lotta sunshine, a little bit o' Starbucks, a few cool breezes, and a very strong dog.  My plan to anchor Layla to my book-laden backpack resulted in me chasing my dog and my backpack all around the park.  Always an adventure!

I took my bike to work today!

As in, I strapped it to the bike rack on my car and hauled it to school so my super awesome department chair could teach me how to change the tube in my back tire.  Perhaps my favorite part of the lesson was when she said, "You know, you can wash your bike."

No way, Jose!  It took me 4 years to get some mud on those tires!

9. I fell up the stairs again today...

...but before I did that, I

1. worked
2. worked out
3. gave Layla a bath (and chased her all over the apartment with a towel, trying to intercept the shower of water droplets that she cast in all directions before any of them landed on walls and furniture)
4. walked Layla
5. tried to look knowledgable at REI while searching for a bike tube and oh-so-flattering padded bike shorts (the secret is to ask all questions over the phone before entering the store: "So, the thing that goes in the tire?  What's that called?  Oh, a tube.  Okay.  And is there just one standard size tube or are there different sizes?  Different sizes, huh?  How would I know which size my tire is?  What's that?  What kind of valve do I have?  Um, one that lets air in and out...it's kinda pointy.")
6. bought groceries
7. worked on bike (meaning I velcroed (shut up, spellcheck!) a carrying bag under the seat and screwed a water bottle holder to the frame...look out, Bob Vila...or whoever your bike-handy equivalent may be!)
8. made bacon and eggs

Between items 2, 3, and 8, I'm smelling delightful!  And between you and me, I don't plan to do anything about it before hitting the hay!

P.S. I promise to relay the "hopping over bush" story when I have enough time and wits to do it justice.  Until then, you'll just have to keep reading and waiting in eager anticipation!

Hey, you!

For the past few weeks, I have been on a mission to persuade my friend Angela to go to our ten-year high school reunion.  She hasn't budged much, but when I remind her of my tendency to embarrass myself in front of people I recognize but don't really know that well, I can see a twinkle in her eye and a hint of curiosity that just might win her over.

I don't know how to explain what happens to me when I see someone familiar in an unexpected place.  I get giddy and think that if God put both of us in the same place, then surely I should say hi to this person.  Even if it means hopping over bushes in a parking lot (yep, done it) or yelling loudly outside of Starbucks, which is what I did today.

While walking my dog this afternoon, I noticed a girl who looked a lot like a girl I knew in college.  She was the sister of my roommate's boyfriend (now husband).  Poor Layla was pulled along at a breakneck speed until I could get close enough to confirm my suspicions.  Apparently, light does travel faster than sound because although I could see her clearly, she couldn't hear me the first time I called her name...in a crowd of Starbucks patio loungers who must have had better hearing than she did because they sure did turn to look.  When you're in a situation like that, you have two options.  You can give up, wave your hand in the air like you just don't care, and move on.  Or you can keep yelling the person's name until she acknowledges you.  Guess which one I chose.

I yelled the girl's name again.  No answer.  I yelled her name a third time, this time cupping my hand around my mouth and really belting from the diaphragm.  That one did it.  She finally turned to look at me, said a very generic (and maybe even frightened), "Hey, how are you?" and proceeded to walk into the coffee shop, where she stood behind the glass and waved cautiously at me.  It's probably a good thing Layla was with me, because otherwise, I probably would have followed her in and initiated one of those weird three-exchange conversations that you have with people you haven't seen in years.

Hey, so good to see you!
You too!
So you live here now?
Yeah.
Me too.
Cool.
Yeah.
Well, see ya around I guess.
Yeah, see ya.

Yeah, good thing I stopped just short of embarrassing myself.

P.S. If you want to hear the full "hopping over bush" story, I would be happy to share.  It's one of my favorites, and it is quickly followed by the "definition of the bar exam" story, which happened on the same night.

Pipes and Pawn Shops

My kids have an uncanny knack for remembering minor details – and for making up their own details – when reading a story.  For example...

Last week, our class read a story called "Sea Dog."  It's about a boy who finds a dog on the beach, decides to keep her, and later finds out that the dog belongs to a lonely old man.  The lonely old man happens to enjoy a pipe every once in a while throughout the story.  When my kids asked me what a pipe was, I drew a picture on the board to help them visualize it.  Apparently it worked.  Later, after reading a passage about how the old man used to go sailing with his dog, I asked the kids, "What did Bill and Otter used to do together?"  And Grant (name changed, of course) shouted out confidently, "SMOKE!"

This week I chose a story without any mention of substance use.  Yet, Roger (remember him?!) still managed to create some excitement.  In this true story, a teenage boy makes a difference in the world by restoring old bikes that he buys at garage sales and then donating the refurbished bikes to less fortunate kids.  When I wanted to show off my awesome teaching skills to my department chair this afternoon, I said to Roger, "Tell Mr. Keppler about the story we’re reading.”  And then, when Roger put his hand to his head and moaned, I decided to help him out.  “Remember, the main character’s name is Justin, and he buys bikes from garage sales and fixes them up.  Then what does he do with them?”  Roger snapped his fingers as a look of recognition lit up his face, and he exclaimed, “He takes them to the pawn shop!”

So there you have it folks.  You want your kids to soak up some suspicious behaviors?  Just bring ‘em on down to English for Delinquents 101.

That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Last night, I got an overwhelming urge to bake cookies.  Coincidentally, I had a to-do list a mile long, and none of the items involved chocolate chips.  So I did the responsible thing and decided to make half a batch of procrastination.

All was going well until I miscalculated ingredient number 12.  Once it was in the bowl, there was no turning back.  The only option was to add more of ingredients 1 through 11 and go all out.  Ingredient number one was softened butter.  Being the savvy baker, I tossed a stick of Land O' Lakes in the batter and popped the bowl in the microwave for 43 seconds (I never enter ordinary increments of time...it's a thing).  Unfortunately, I realized too late that ingredient number 10 was half a bag of chocolate chips, and they didn't exactly keep their shape after being nuked.  So 8 to 11 minutes later, I was gently prying some very lumpy zebra-looking cookies from the pan.

Then, on the way out the door this morning, I had my homemade, questionably edible cookies in hand when Layla decided to make a break for it.  In a bit of a panic, I tossed my cookies (ha!) on the ground, dropped my teacher bag on top of them, and sprinted down the hallway toward my wayward pooch.  It wasn't until after luring my dog back into the apartment with dog biscuits that I realized what I had done to my culinary masterpiece.  No worries though.  Everyone at work still ate their fair share of "cookie bites."  And they loved them!  Because you know what ingredient number 13 was?  Love.*

*Please know that I recognize the cheesiness of this line and have included it for purely comedic reasons.  I don't actually think that love is an ingredient, despite what my second-grade "Recipe for Friendship" might say.

30 Miles and Pizza Patron

I haven't written anything in a while, but my cousin Zak (shout out!) asked for my blog address, so in the spirit of sharing some awkward and funny moments, here's an update from my Tour Dallas experience.

Let it be known that when you go to pick up your registration packet, and the volunteer behind the table greets you with a smile and asks, "What can I get for you?" the appropriate response is NOT, "Um, I'll take whatever you've got!"  Apparently, the customary response is your shirt size.  Hey, volunteer lady, don't laugh at me!  If you wanted to know which size shirt I needed, why didn't you just say, "What size shirt do you want?"  You give me an open-ended question next to a table of freebies, and I'm gonna speak the truth!  Also, I'm gonna take 12 Clif bars while you're not looking.

And when you're cruising around mile 18 and a friendly gentleman introduces himself and comments on your bike, beware.  In about 34 seconds, your new friend Eric is going to comment on the necessity of wearing the appropriate undergarments while cycling.  And then you'll almost take out about 14 other cyclers in an attempt to pull over to the side and pretend to check your tires.  No, Eric, that's fine.  You just keep riding.  I'll take care of this one on my own.

Cookies and Change

So, it's been a while since I've written, but today, I had to say something to my trainer that made me laugh out loud...maybe it will do the same for you.

"Sorry about all the quarters.  I have to pay you in change because I broke my twenty to buy Girl Scout cookies."

Yeah, I'm guessing I'll be running some extra laps soon.

How YOU doin'?

The other night in class, my friend Natalie and were discussing how we no longer have hobbies.  I tried to say that working out is a hobby for me, but let's face it, it's not exactly something I really look forward to (to which I look forward?).  Not to worry though...I have found a hobby!  It turns out that googling pick up lines is quite entertaining.  Might I recommend this site for hours of fun: http://howyoudoin.tumblr.com/
No really, it's worth it.  Trust me; I'm a scientist!

bibliosplosion!

So I had three meetings today that I was unaware of until about 8:00 this morning.  After scrambling to get the paperwork done, I walked upstairs to my classroom (which was used for an inservice yesterday) to discover one of my bookshelves in shambles.  I kid you not when I say it looked like it exploded.  Splinters and boards and books littered the floor.  After doing my best to clean up and teach around the mess, I spent my lunch being trained on how to administer the TAKS test.  And to top it all off, I stayed at work three hours late just so I don't have to repeat this crazy process again tomorrow.  I wouldn't mind, however, repeating the part where I ate about a fourth of a cake all by myself.  Thank you, stress!

Sometimes I am lazy.

As I was closing my blinds this afternoon, (a task I hate for some unknown reason...it's not like tugging on a rope is all that exhausting), I thought of other simple acts that I always put off until it becomes absolutely necessary to perform them.  Here they are in no particular order, and for no good reason:

plugging the charger into my cell phone
changing a light bulb
stopping for gas
scooping out dog food
lining the trash can with a new bag
refilling my water pitcher
using scissors to cut open a food package that doesn't easily pull apart
shutting down my computer...

Faith My Eyes

I recently rediscovered an old Caedmon's Call CD and can't stop listening to it.  Every time I hear this song, something new jumps out at me, but mostly, it reminds me of my high school Bible study.   In no time at all, I'm transported to a packed living room with dimmed lights, listening to the soft strum of an acoustic guitar with the faint squeak of a ceiling fan keeping time in the background.  Ah, when life was simple and I didn't even know it!

As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read
I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet

And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
Life is better off a mystery

So keep 'em coming these lines on the road
And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load
And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

Hometown weather is on TV
I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay

And to visit places from my past
But only for an hour or so
Which is long enough to smell the air
To tell the tale and find the door

But I get turned around
I mistake some happiness for blessing
But I'm blessed as the poor
Still I judge success by how I'm dressing

So I'll sing a song of my hometown
I'll breathe the air and walk the streets
Maybe find a place to sit and read
And the ants are welcome company

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes.
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes.

- Faith My Eyes

  Caedmon's Call

Too Much Fun?

A bike ride followed by some Spring cleaning and two birthday parties...maybe my new favorite way to spend a Saturday!

Good Clean Fun

Mexican Food.  Peanut Butter Brownies.  Living Room Dance Party.
Happy Friday to me!

twenty twenty?

I was informed by a student today that male seahorses become pregnant.  I did a little research on wikipedia (totally legit!), and it turns out, she's right.  Now, is it just me, or does anyone else think that perhaps the explanation for this oddity is that some scientist many years ago misplaced his spectacles on seahorse research day?  Just a thought!

No time for talking!

Today was my first session with a personal trainer, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about this gig.  It's a lot more pressure than boot camp...at least in a group I can get away with cheating a little, and I'm not responsible for keeping the instructor entertained.  How am I supposed to count 20 reps AND tell you about my Valentine's day?!

Questions and Calories

Darn you, Miss Blue Shirt for asking one more question at the end of class and completely throwing off my dietary plan!  I had perfectly timed my last bite of dinner with the professor's last comments, so as not to trick myself into feeling hungry on the ride home, and then you go and make me sit another five minutes without food in front of me!  Now I have no other choice but to eat a bowl of Cheerios before hitting the hay.  I swear, if another rivet flies off my jeans at work tomorrow, I'm holding you responsible!

trippin'

Tonight, when I was walking Layla, a long piece of grass was stuck to her front paw.  When I first saw it and had not yet determined that it was grass, my first thought was, Oh, her shoelace is untied.  Definitely time for bed!

Best. Half. Birthday. Ever.

Truth be told, I never paid attention to my half birthday until my Senior year of high school.  On February 13, 2001, I was asked to prom.  I had prayed for that day since the first day of freshman year, and I was determined to remember it when it happened.  So when a gangly teenage boy shouted out in the middle of a class reading of Othello, "Alas, Leslie, will you go to prom with me?" I immediately racked my brain for some significance to connect with the date.  After a few calculations, I realized that it was my half birthday!

For those of you who are not accustomed to celebrating your half birthday, I highly recommend that you try it out.  It has all the fun of a real birthday without the worry of getting older or the pressure for the day to be perfect.  It just has to be half perfect!  And sometimes, it ends up exceeding those expectations.

For instance, today, I went with my two Galentine's dates to see my favorite movie on the big screen.  And take my word for it, Jake Ryan looks even better when he's bigger than life.  I've said it before (Natalie), and I'll say it again...if you can look good in a sweater vest and rolled up jeans, you are officially hot.

After parting with the Brat Pack and my gal pals, I drove home listening to some good ol' country music and chomping happily on a giant heart-shaped cookie (thank you, Rachel!).  Then, just as I swung into my parking lot, thinking to myself that 28 ½ couldn't get any better, my headlights shone on a scene that proved me wrong.  Next to the dumpster sat a lonely and beautiful turquoise chair.  I mean, come on!  You know how much I love turquoise!  And sitting!  And you're probably not going to believe this (I almost didn't), but upon further inspection, I realized that this wasn't just any turquoise chair.  It was the turquoise chair that I had looked at longingly on many a walk with Layla.  For months I stared at this chair on someone else's porch, and now, here it is in my living room!  Just as beautiful and not at all lonely!

Oh, Happy, Happy, Happy Half Birthday to me!

two thumbs up

for The King's Speech and all the speech that followed at Ginger Man...yea for good friends and fun Friday nights!

stress and chocolate

My Morning:

Wake up

Get ready for work (after checking for school closures out of recently developed habit)

Take a FREEZING walk with Layla

Drive to work

Frantically start typing paperwork that needs to be completed in 20 minutes and am interrupted by student who needs a test read

Read about three questions and am interrupted by parent who has shown up 15 minutes early for the meeting that requires previously mentioned paperwork completion

Simultaneously read test, interject polite "uh huh"s and "oh yeah?"s in one-sided parent conversation, and dominate keyboard as I enter student information

Wipe sweat from brow and literally run upstairs so as not to be tardy to my own class

Midrun, am intercepted by department head who informs me that Roger's mom will be shadowing him in all of his classes today...Delightful.  I love when people come to observe.  Unexpectedly.  On the day after Snow Day when all of the kids are focused and all of the teachers are prepared.  I especially love parents...with easygoing personalities and oh-so-realistic expectations.

My Afternoon:

Eat embarrassing amount of junk food (Thank you, dieting coworker for bringing all of your toxic snacks to the office)

My Evening:

Drive reluctantly to boot camp

Secretly get giddy when the parking lot is empty and the building is locked

Experience feelings of regret and guilt on the drive back home (An entire tin of chocolate-covered popcorn, Leslie?  Really?!)

Bypass my building's lot and drive straight to gym

Break all time constraints on the treadmill until the blue cheese bacon dip and chocolate almond bark are nothing but memories

Blog

Read over blog and question sanity

damaged goods

Thanks to those of you who stared at your nose in an earnest plea for Snow Day number 5!  I spent the morning doing loads and loads and loads of laundry and rewarded myself with a trip to Target.  The drive wasn't bad at all, but apparently I'm better on four wheels than I am on two feet.  Just as I was approaching my car to load some groceries, my feet skated out from under me, and in no time at all I was lying on my back in the middle of the parking lot.  I was okay, but I'm afraid I can't say the same for the busted squash, bruised apples, and broken asparagus that I brought home.  If you've ever had the unfortunate experience of shopping with me, you know how long it takes me to pick out my produce and how I cringe when the cashier carelessly tosses a beautiful Fuji apple into a grocery sack.  I can't bear to think that I did this to myself!

optical confusions

When our classroom weather girl delivered the daily forecast this morning, the room was abuzz with excitement.  Could it be?  Another possible snow day?  I managed to regain their focus long enough to impart some wisdom about character development in literature (don't be too impressed...it definitely involved a robust discussion about Spongebob's finest attributes).  But just when the bell was about to ring, one student of mine, who is quite a character himself, could hold his excitement in no longer.  As he swooped his backpack up off the floor and slung it over his shoulder, he called out, "Hopefully we'll have another snow day tomorrow!  Keep your eyes crossed!"

In Leslie's world...

...there is a Superbowl, but no football.

Sorry, Uncle Mike, if you think this game is stupid.  Guess what?  I feel the same way about a bunch of guys running around in spandex pants and giant shoulder pads.  But I do love a reason to hang out with friends (and their boyfriends' cute single friends*), eat a meal of appetizers and desserts, and polish off some amazing leftovers at work the next day.  Go team!

*Yes, they are friends.  They aren't buddies.  When you call them buddies, a lovely 80s commercial jingle and an image of a freckle-faced doll wearing overalls and an unattractive striped shirt pops into my head.  And then it's only a few more lines of friendly conversation and polite laughter before this Kid Sister is gone!

not too much to ask

Would it be greedy to ask for just one more week of thundersnow?  I finally got comfortable with the routine of waking up at ten, watching all that Netflix has to offer, and falling asleep on the couch in the wee hours of the morning.  If I try to change it up now, it will have all been for naught...and I worked so diligently to perfect it!

Dark Wash Dream Come True

Just got the news that I can wear jeans to work all week!  Wahoo!  Now I don't have to wear my super fancy Old Navy corduroys!

lessons from church camp

I'm not too terrible at mountain biking, as long as the mountain is a meadow.

I'm a horrible shot with pistols and volleyballs.

Trampolines are therapeutic...and way fun.  Plus, these new net contraptions make them completely safe!  So double bounce to your heart's delight!

After 10:00 pm, Uno and Build-a-Story are incredibly difficult activities.  The daily allotment of creative juices has surely fermented by then, and nothing good can come of 12 tired minds, entranced by a bonfire, trying to match colors or create characters.

Falling asleep in a field is as fun as it looks on Dawson's Creek.  I almost hope you don't believe me just so you'll try it out!

Irregardlessly is not a word...irregardlessly of how many times you use it in a sentence.

East Texas stargazing should be on everyone's bucket list.

Homemade crepes are a brilliant way to start the morning...anything that tastes like a banana split and passes as breakfast is welcome to make an (incredibly short) appearance on my plate!

and...

My home group ROCKS!  Thanks for all the laughter and lessons at the not so little cabin in the woods!

unanswered prayers

My silent prayer to God this afternoon: Dear God, please let this be a low impact boot camp day...maybe a little ab work...anything that involves laying on a mat for a while would be nice.

My Boot Camp Instructor's not-so-silent greeting: Okay, good to see everyone.  Grab your water and head outside.  We're gonna to start out tonight with a timed mile.  Just run as fast as you can!

It wasn't my best time, but it wasn't my worst.  And, I got to eat an extra snack after dinner!

292.9

After doing some thorough investigations of totally reliable health websites, I have found the most common caffeine withdrawal symptoms to be...

Headaches - check
Shakes - chhhheeeecccck
Grouchiness - I said CHECK! 
Lethargy - che... 

The good news is, it usually lasts only three to four days.  The bad news is, people have to be around me during that time.  I'm sorry in advance!

decaf diaries

Well, today was my third day without coffee (not counting the one tiny little sip I had on Saturday morning), and much to my surprise, I made it through work and class without a hitch.  But just when I thought I was in the clear  - less than two blocks from home - I definitely broke down and cried to a super cheesy song by the Katinas.  I'm pretending that by keeping the title of the song a secret, I'll maintain at least some dignity.  But let's be honest, it's the Katinas.  The first measure of any of their songs is a polite warning and a gentle encourager for you to go ahead and see what else is coming across the ol' radio waves.  Unfortunately, due to a lack of my drug of choice, my reaction time was a little slow, and before I knew it, the chorus drifted out of my car speakers and into my very tired mind.  And then, well, you know the rest.  Lord, help me if any of Michael W. Smith's ballads cross my path tomorrow!

On another note, I super very much miss my delete key.  Making mistakes just isn't the same without it.

dinner and dessert

To offset the mass quantity of food that I consumed at home group tonight, I decided to make Layla's last walk of the day more like a jog.  Unfortunately, my stumbling feet decided I had actually not eaten my recommended dose of cement and decided to serve up a lovely slab of sidewalk.  It was quite an entertaining fall if I do say so myself.  I didn't exactly see it happen, but I think it was one of those rare, slow-motion, "is she doing that on purpose?" kind of falls because I had enough time to think to myself, Uh oh, I'm falling.  Wait.  Nope, I think I got it.  Oops.  Nope.  I'm definitely falling.

Pick a Team, It Needs You

Yesterday, when my friend Rachel asked if I wanted to go to a game night with some of her friends, I reluctantly joined in the so-called fun.  If I haven't mentioned it already, I kind of hate games.  I'm an only child, which means I'm not good at sharing or losing.  I am, however, good at staying in on Friday nights and watching romantic comedies with a bowl of popcorn and some peanut butter M&Ms.  I'm a little too good at it, actually, which is why I decided to live on the edge and play Pictionary with some strangers.  I may have also been swayed by the possibility that some of those strangers might be male and cute.

So, after work, I took Layla for a quick trot around the pond, spent about thirty minutes picking out which v-neck t-shirt I would wear with my rolled-up jeans and boat shoes (If anyone ever recorded my life, the beginning of each show would be very reminiscent of Mr. Rogers' wardrobe change from one cardigan to another), and headed to a little house in the big city.  After mingling with the group for a bit, we finally got down to business.  Two team captains were chosen, and then I relived the worst of my elementary school experiences as one by one, the rest of us were selected to teams.  Suddenly, I was back in third grade, standing in a gym that smelled like feet and had the constant sound of a buzzer ringing dimly in the background.  I was looking intensely at Matt Bruisee, praying that he would pick me for his kickball team.  I stood tall, trying to make myself look strong and coordinated and athletic...and maybe even confident enough to not care if I was chosen last.

When I finally reigned my thoughts back in, I tried to apply the same strategy to the Pictionary picking process.  But how exactly do you subtly convey to someone that you have what it takes to draw a decent sketch of "tiger by the tail" and to quickly and correctly guess that the messy scribble that your teammate has drawn is in fact "three blind mice"?  I apparently did not adopt whatever stance or facial expression that requires, because I was definitely chosen second to last.  And even then, it was because when the team captains said, "That's everyone, right?" the only two people to raise their hands in protest were me and a guy who had made numerous comments about smelling the markers.

I showed them though.  Who was the only one to have her team guess all five phrases in under a minute?  That would be Miss Second-to-Last!  And what is her prize?  A much deserved Saturday night in with her dog, her stellar movie collection, and her first two choices for any team - Ben and Jerry.

P.S. 23 cool points if the title sounds familiar!

surprise visit

I watched a kid eat lemon wedges today.  Rind and all.  On purpose.  Then I watched him "hug" our principal.  She was standing up, and Roger (did you already guess it was him?) was sitting next to her.  He reached over, embraced my boss's legs for a few uncomfortable seconds, and then proceeded to tickle her with some very wandering hands.

That ought to keep her from checking up on us unexpectedly.

setbacks and send backs

Apparently, I spoke to soon.  Once you go mac, you will go back.  Back to the Apple store to have your data files transferred AGAIN.  Did you spend two and a half hours last Saturday morning organizing all of the trasferrable files on your PC into one convenient folder?  Yes.  Yes, you did.  Did you clearly label the folder "To Mac"?  Indeed.  Did you explain in detail where to find this folder and request that nothing else be transferred?  Yep!  Did the geniuses at the Genius Bar transfer everything except the "To Mac" files?  Affirmative.  Grrrrrrr.

DIY

I have a feeling I won't be able to sleep to night.  Visions of white frame collages and turquoise end tables keep taunting me.  I need paint.  I need brushes.  I need picture hanging hardware and custom cut mats and some photography prints.  I need about 96 hours in my weekend to get everything done!  And I'm quite certain I'll need only about 5 more minutes to cook up another idea.

Once you go mac...

...you'll never go back.

I plan to spend the majority of my three-day weekend learning how to use this machine.  I've already learned how to watch TV shows and listen to Pandora, so I've got the most important features down!

the power of persuasion

Today, enough kids told me enough times that it was Friday, that I actually erased the correct date and wrote "Friday, January 14, 2011" at the top of the board.  When they all started laughing, I was a bit vexed, but then I remembered that all week we've been talking about persuasive writing strategies.  Way to go, kids!  And way to go, me!

One Lap Wednesday

After a long day and a crazy lower body workout, I refuse to walk Layla any further than one lap around the pond.  And by "refuse," I mean "am physically unable."

Oooouuuccchhh!

tip top(ple) shape

Here's what I learned at boot camp tonight:

My abs are in hiding, and they do not want to come out.
If being the fastest one in class requires me to pick up so much momentum that I run straight into a wall, I'll do it.
There are about a million and five things you can do with a rope ladder, including trip over it.
It is possible to cut your hand with your own ungroomed fingernails while doing football drills.
With a little creative thinking in the mind of an exercise nazi, paper plates become instruments of torture.
If I buy a ten dollar shirt from my instructor, I can get a free taco at Fuzzy's on Thursday night...sold!

I said, "Hey! What's going on?"

It's been 10 months since my free cable mysteriously disappeared, and I'm starting to crack.  Today, I pulled up the TV guide online and looked longingly at what I was missing.  It was torturous, much like window shopping (whoever thought that activity was legitimate enough to earn a title of its own clearly never had to participate).  I thought that being free from cable would force me to make better use of my time.  I would work out, read, play with Layla, get more involved at church...become the girl I envisioned when reading the after part of a makeover story.  But instead of toned arms, worn pages, a happy pup, and a cheerful heart, I’ve got cable envy, and I’ve got it bad.  I think it might be late onset withdrawal.  I occupy my time searching for alternative ways to watch current TV shows.  On Saturday, I spent well over an hour researching the Hulu Plus vs. Netflix debate.  And yesterday, I bought an antenna, which I balanced in the palm of one hand while standing in the middle of my living room and wiggling the rabbit ears around with my free hand.  When the picture and sound finally aligned, I was more focused than a yogi.  I wasn’t about to lose fragile reception, even if the show was terrible…and it was.  What’s happening to me?!  And more importantly, what’s happening on The Bachelor?!

What Not to Write

Every Friday, my students' warm up prompt is to write about any topic of their choice for 5 to 10 minutes.  A few of my kids like to share their responses.  Next to the 4:15 bell, that used to be my favorite part of Friday...until I heard Chris' topic of choice.

"Tonight, I'm going to watch What Not to Wear on TLC with my brother.  I think Ms. Howell should go on What Not to Wear.  She would have to throw out all her tomboy clothes and get her hair colored.  She would also have to look at herself in the 360 degree mirror to see what she really looks like."

Sadly, I don't totally disagree.  And to be completely honest, I was more enthused about Chris' ability to write four sentences that stayed on topic than I was offended by his attention to my fashion faux pas.  In fact, we've got a persuasive writing assignment coming up pretty soon, and I've got a $5,000 idea for Chris' paper.  Bring it on, Stacy and Clinton!

Challenge accepted!

If you ask me, this Special K challenge isn't much of a challenge at all.  At the rate I'm going, I will have dominated the family size box in only 3 days.  Booyah!

making lemonade

Today, the bus driver never came to pick up our kids for their afternoon jobs.  When my favorite student (I didn't say that) Roger heard the news, he threw his hands in the air and said, "Well, what can we do?!"  Then, without much hesitation, he answered his own question: "Wait!  Before the break, the bus didn't come, and we had a Christmas party.  Let's just do that!"

Much Ado About Nothing

You know those people who say they love being busy, and they will never retire?  I'm not one of them.  Today was the first day back to work after Christmas break, and one of the few things I accomplished was coming to terms with the fact that I'm really good at being lazy.  I think I was made for summer vacation and spring break and even the ocassional sick day.  It's amazing how my mind can entertain itself without any prompting from to-do lists or work related e-mails.  Unfortunately, with the rising spirit of productivity and multitasking in American culture, it seems my kind is dying out.  And the terrible thing is, if I try to do anything about it, I'll be going against my very nature of laziness.  So, it seems I am resigned to do a whole lot of nothing!

new year, same old me

If you've ever watched Bridget Jones' Diary (or if you watch it once a week like I do), then you're probably familiar with the scene where Bridget is holding a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other while babbling on to Mark Darcy about her New Year's resolutions to quit drinking, smoking, and talking total nonsense to complete strangers.  Currently, I'm sitting with a snickerdoodle in one hand and the remote control in the other (don't ask how I'm typing; just roll with it) reflecting on my morning ambitions to eat healthy and read regularly.  Oh well.  I had cabbage earlier.  That's a vegetable.  And I totally read the TV Guide before selecting a charming and slightly nauseating Hallmark movie.  At least I didn't put any restrictions on my nonsensical ramblings to people I don't even know, because it might interfere with my blogging!

So, to all my friends, family members, and complete strangers...
Happy New Year!