dilemmas and delusions

The Bravermans are my new favorite fake family.  I really wish I could come to their reunions, but that's silly.  I mean, that could never actually happen.  I'm not blood-related, and there aren't any single men my age to offer the hope of marrying my way in.  Also, I haven't yet figured out how to get inside my TV.

1996

Today in English, we talked about flashbacks, and wouldn't you know it...as I was driving to class this afternoon, a song came on the radio, and I had a little flashback of my own.  Let it be known that for some weird reason I remember that Mark Wills' "I Do Cherish You" was playing on the boombox when my cousin Katie and I stayed up all night watching reruns of Saturday Night Live and eating massive amounts of chocolate chocolate chip cake that we snuck out of the kitchen and into the game room.  Thank God for the flashbacks that save me from everyday life!

back on the grid

I know it's kind of generic, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for...

some super fun road trip companions
Buc-ees
a very patient dog
way more delicious food than I could eat
a happy family
a lazy movie day
an impromptu coffee break and shopping spree with some people who make me laugh a lot
running into an old college friend
a successful run around White Rock Lake
free sample day at Target (very handy after 10 miles on an empty stomach)
a mom who calls me just to say she loves me!

"It says right here, it is a dessert wine!"

I don't know the most effective method for counseling a Hispanic American teen who is struggling to establish her independence in a family that values unity and self-sacrifice...or exactly what ridiculous outfits I'll be forced to concoct from the contents of my rashly packed suitcase.  But I do know that Central Market's pumpkin pie gelato is worth every calorie, Middle Sister Drama Queen Pinot Grigio isn't too shabby, and the first two episodes of The Good Wife will leave you wanting more.  Here's to yet another unfinished paper, a suitcase that is likely filled with 27 pair of mismatched socks and no shoes, and a much enjoyed girls night in!

P.S. Major loss of cool points if you think the title is original.

blockBUSTED!

It is a little known fact that teachers exist outside of school.  They do crazy things like go out to eat, shop for groceries, get their cars washed, and rent movies.  You might not recognize them at first, because they tend to ditch their khaki pants and modest pencil skirts for jeans, but there's always the tell-tale cardigan or simple stud earrings or little ballet flats to give them away.  If you hear them answer to other names like Sarah or Jim or Ashley, don't be alarmed; count yourself lucky to have discovered the mystery of their "real" names.  But please don't tell anyone else the secrets to which you are privy.  For if you do, the entire balance of power may shift on its side and end in complete and utter mayhem.  Mayhem, I tell you!  And while we're on the topic of secrecy, mum's the word if you happen to be working the register at Blockbuster when your fourth period teacher strides in, pretends to peruse the new releases when in fact, she knows exactly the title she wants, and then casually lays 17 Again on the counter with a desperate look in her eyes that says, "I promise I don't ever dream of going back in time and reliving my high school years because my life now is everything I hoped it would be and more!"  Also, if she (or he...let's keep this totally hypothetical) has a few late charges for a long list of sappy romantic comedies, it's best to just let those slide.

look alive!

Warning to all those who participate in a Thanksgiving feast at work: unlike the real deal, post-meal activities do not include laying on an old couch and listening to your relatives yell at the television while they watch a football game you don't care about.  Keep in mind that after that last perfect bite of dressing with a little bit of cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes clinging to the side of your fork, you will be expected to do something productive.  Might I suggest opening a completed Excel sheet, placing your hand on your computer mouse, and settling in for a disguised upright snooze?

life is good

Ran 10 miles today, and around mile 8 when I needed a push, a woman rolled down her passenger window, gave me a thumbs up, and yelled, "You go, girl!"  And I did!

When I made it home, I limped around and cleaned the kitchen, straightened up the living room (aka: moved a pile of clothes from the couch to the bed), vacuumed, and did two loads of laundry.  As I was walking to get lunch, I thought to myself, "Wow...it's only noon, and I've been so productive!"

And then my check engine light came on.  I spent the next few hours intermittently watching The Family Stone (I heart you, Luke Wilson) and falling asleep (still heart you, Luke Wilson).  When I finally peeled myself off the couch, I decided it was time to give in to my Pumpkin Spice Latte craving, so I moseyed down the street to my neighborhood Starbucks.

Everything was going well until the barista announced, "It's buy one get one free on all holiday drinks right now.  Do you have a friend who would want one?"  And I had to say, with a line of patrons behind me, "No...no friends."  I felt the urge to follow up with, "I mean, I have friends.  I have a lot of friends.  I just won't see any of them before the drink gets cold," but I figured that might sound even more pathetic.

So I did my second single girl walk for the day...just me carrying my order for one back to my apartment.  But honestly, I've appreciated my downtime lately.  Good coffee, the smell of fresh laundry, and a little Taylor Swift in the background is not a bad gig.  Perhaps I was able to enjoy it because I knew it wouldn't last long.  In just a few hours I would be gussied up and mixing and mingling with some coworkers at a Photography Studio Open House.

Little did I know that I would also end up in a dance-off with a six-year-old.  She may not have known it was a dance-off, but let me tell you right now, if you're dancing at the same time as me, and you're not dancing with me, then it's a competition...and you are most likely losing, my friend!

So there you have it.  I championed the streets and the impromptu dance floor.  I drank more calories than some people eat in a day.  I watched a movie while it was still light outside.  And I loved every minute of it!

forgetful foodie strikes it rich

It was definitely a bad idea for a forgetful person like me to load up on prepared meals at Market Street and store them in the fridge at work on "WARNING: We will clean out the fridge this Friday at 4:00" week.  Guess who's out $20 and 4 dinners!

It's okay, though.  After eating a delicious dinner of popcorn and cereal (feel sorry for me yet?), I took Layla for a walk and found one of these on the sidewalk.

Yeah, that's right.  I'm a trillionaire.  From now on, I can buy prepared meals and throw them directly into the trash just for the fun of it!  But I wouldn't do that.  I could never disgrace former president Tom the Turkey that way.

P.S. Can I please be present at the baptism of the person whose testimony begins with, "Well, I was lost as a goose until I found this turkey money..."

splitting hairs

Risked being late to work so I could use the hot rollers this morning.  When I got home and did the "What did I look like all day?" survey in the mirror (don't pretend you don't do it), I was surprised to find that the left side of my head was much more excited about being curly than was the right side.  And because I am a nerd and a half, a little parody of one of John Mayer's greatest hits began a brewing underneath my bouncing curls and limp locks.  If you're familiar with "Half of my Heart," feel free to sing along!

Half of my hair is two inches shorter than the other
Half of my hair falls flat
Half of my hair is a masterpiece of loops and curls
The other half needs a hat

Half of my hair needs a picture taken
Half of my hair should hide
Half of my hair would be way jealous
If it caught sight of the other side

Ooooh, half of my hair...

chick flicks

I have learned to never ask my students to write the title of their favorite movie, or the chorus of their favorite song, or the name of their favorite restaurant, or the flavor of their favorite ice cream...or any other favorites.  Some of them answer the question immediately, some take their time before settling on "Dumb and Dumber" and "You Can't Hurry Love" and "Main Street Bakery" and "banana nut," and then there are those who are overwhelmed by the task of choosing one favorite color and cannot be consoled with the special permission to write two or even three colors that they like because that would be "breaking the rules."  These kids are painstakingly thoughtful.  These kids have an unusually stubborn sense of right and wrong.  These kids drive me absolutely insane.  And I found out today that I am one of these kids.

In one classroom, not my own but one that I visit regularly, the teacher and students asked me to list my top five favorite movies.  I had five...five!  And still, the pressure was intense.  How can I reduce all of my romantic comedy affections to just five movies?  After a lot of thought on my part and a loss of interest on the teacher and students' part, I finally came up with the following list.

Dan in Real Life
The Family Stone
Hope Floats
Mona Lisa Smile
When Harry Met Sally
Clueless

Thank you, Angela, for pointing out my mistake in not including any of Molly Ringwald's finest performances.  I would like to amend the list by replacing Clueless with Sixteen Candles.  I know it's way harsh, Ty, but it had to be done.

too much!

Wake up, walk dog, go to work, paperwork, test administration, meeting, class of groggy students, class of hyper students, paperwork, meeting, paperwork, inhale lunch, student conference, student conference, paperwork, drive home, walk dog, inhale chips and salsa, homework, homework, homework, walk dog, blog, collapse.

maybe I need a vacation

So maybe in first period, when I told one of my students to look for details in her reading passage and then realized I never gave her the correct chapter, I just sat next to her and told her the answers.

And maybe in second period I scrapped my lesson and read Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

And maybe I was a little too excited when my department head asked if my English class could make invitations to our Thanksgiving feast...because that little assignment will take at least two class periods...three if I play my cards right!

take note!

Recently, I have been frustrated by my inability to take notes during class.  I have become so accustomed to professors posting slides on the class website, that it throws me when I am responsible for writing it down myself.  Well, today, I got a little boost of confidence in my secretarial skills when the stranger next to me kept looking at my sermon notes and copying them into his iPhone.  I wasn't sure that's what he was doing until he leaned over, placed his finger under one of the words I had frantically scrawled on the scrap of paper I was using, and asked, "What does that say?"  So there you have it...I apparently am a trusted source for notes after all!  Feel free to peer over my shoulder and copy, but don't expect it to bee 100% legible.

Also noteworthy...the comment I heard while walking Layla around the pond.  A girl said to a younger boy, who I assume was her brother, "You're the one who keeps farting!"  The second time I passed them, they were wondering aloud which food from their dinner had already digested.  My eavesdropping wasn't so sly when I LOLed.

detour

Went to Blockbuster in search of a movie that I need to watch for a paper I intended to write tonight...left empty-handed, texted a friend to see what she was up to, and pointed my car in the direction of the movie theater to catch a new release that had nothing to do with school.  I'm such a rebel!

exhausticated

...and not feeling too creative.

Axis II

I actually enjoyed my DSM class tonight!  My professor was on a roll with the jokes.  He briefly mentioned intermittent explosive disorder, and when someone asked him what it was, he said, "Oh, we'll talk about that one later.  It's a winner!"

Also on the agenda, a classmate who volunteered diagnoses - with supporting details - for her crazy ex-husband.  Raise your hand if you like free entertainment!

But I have to admit, the real reason class was so great was because we got out early!  I don't care if you're in kindergarten or eleventy-seventh grade...early release is cause for celebration!

Look out, Mary Kay! No, really...look out.

Today, during my lunch break, I ran to the grocery store to stock up on some trail mix ingredients (yes, I called them ingredients.  I'm allowed to do that if trail mix, salad, and cereal are the only things I cook!).  As I was hurriedly perusing the bins of mixed nuts and dried berries, a woman approached me and asked if she could talk to me for a bit.  I cautiously said yes.  She said that she noticed my preppy casual look (emphasis on the casual) and thought I might be a great face model for Mary Kay.  Now, I am well aware of the fact that she just wants me to buy and promote her product, but I was still flattered.  And while we had an awkward conversation amidst strangers and eavesdroppers, I couldn't help but think how cool I must look to everyone around me!  We exchanged information and then went our separate ways...she to the checkout, and I full force into the hanging scales.  That's right.  As I was walking away, putting Miss Mary Kay's business card in my wallet and smiling down at my stylish preppy casual shoes, I rammed my beautiful model face right into a giant metal bowl, and anyone who missed the sight of it surely heard the sound...a loud crashing metal discord immediately followed by my whimpering "ooooow!"  Yeah, I have a feeling the security guards will be reviewing those tapes for kicks and giggles.

bait and switch

I had a really great story to relay, but snopes.com just blew it out of the water.  The sad thing is, I heard the story yesterday from the speaker at church.  I'm simultaneously relieved and disappointed.  If you want to know why, check out the link below.

http://www.snopes.com/critters/snakes/measured.asp

Happy Snoping!

cats and dogs

First of all, congrats to my cousin Tatum, whose cheer squad took home a sizable trophy, purse loads of candy, and about 84 pounds of hairspray and glitter!  Way to go, Wildcats!

In other news, I took Layla to the dog park this afternoon.  We stayed for only five minutes or so, but in that time, Layla managed to ignore every dog in sight and chose instead to jump in the laps of 2...4...6...8 dog owners who did not appreciate her signature stunt, the dog hug.  I'm pretty sure they wanted to see her get d-o-w-n.  I don't know what's not to love about a wet nose in your face!  She definitely gets the "best jumps" award!

falling back

Ran nine miles (yea!  and ouch!), went to a cook off fundraiser (yum!), returned items to about twelve different stores (may have also purchased a few future returns, just for good measure), and helped a friend move (ouch again).  Thank you, thank you, thank you, God for the extra hour!

thanks for noticing

Here's a quick rundown of the super encouraging things I heard today...

"You are gaining weight.  You need to be careful."
(kindly spoken by a woman at work...who also needs to be careful!)

"Hey, I have these t-shirts that I would love to wear, but the neck is too small.  You have a tiny neck, so maybe you could wear them.  You should come check them out later."
(an e-mail from a coworker)

I guess the silver lining is that I apparently don't carry my weight in my neck!

tgit

Thursdays are the new Friday.  I think this is something that most people learned in college, but I'm always a little late on the uptake.  I've got a lot of catching up to do!

giving credit where credit is due

Thanks to grad school, I have gained...

insight into why I am the way I am
a good friend
negative 456 hours of sleep (and counting)
5 pounds

How I Met Your Mother

I don't think I watched this much TV when I had TV.  Darn you, Ted Mosby!

Be-leaf it or not!

Right now, if I could do anything in place of sleep and still be rejuvenated and refreshed tomorrow, I would go to the grocery store.  Not go to the movies.  Not ride my bike through the park.  Not hang out with friends at a restaurant or bar.  Not stay up all night giggling at a friend's house.  Nope.  I would go to the grocery store.  And you know what I would buy?  Lettuce.  Lots and lots of lettuce.  Because the only thing that sounds better than a bed right now is a giant, neverending salad.  Should I be worried about myself right now?